


Ben

by Darth_Claire



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Kylo Ren Redemption, Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22782535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth_Claire/pseuds/Darth_Claire
Summary: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS:THE RISE OF SKYWALKERseriouslydon't read if you haven't seen itAlso this is a Reylo Fic.  If that's not your space ship, turn back now.I will not be held responsible if you ignore warnings.We good?Ok, let's do this.SummaryAfter the Battle on Exegol, Ben reflects on his life and searches for a way to move beyond his past and find his place in the Galaxy.  Can he find his way home after everything that he's done, and does he even deserve the chance to make things right?
Relationships: Ben Solo & Han Solo, Leia Organa & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Luke Skywalker & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 35
Kudos: 51





	1. Ahch-to

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [ GCKinsey](/users/%5Bgckinsey%5D/) for beta reading this! 
> 
> This fic is now complete

**Ahch-to**

The damp winds whipped at Ben’s shirt as he climbed the long winding staircase up the mountain. He turned to look out at the vast oceans of Ahch-to. Somehow it made him feel smaller than he had ever felt staring out at the stars. He resumed his climb, thinking back on the events that had brought him here.

_He looked at Rey, his heart swelling with joy as she started to move and life returned to her. She smiled, kissing him. He was too giddy to think about it, but it felt right. Suddenly he felt his life start to slip away. He had overdone it. Rey clung to him, desperately pulling him back through the strength of their bond. They tugged at one another like twin suns in orbit, circling until both settled into a stable pattern._

_Ben looked up at the battle above their heads. “We should get out of here.”_

_“Do you have a ship?” she asked, helping him to his feet. “I came here in an X-Wing, but we could squeeze in.”_

_“I found a TIE-Fighter in that Star Destroyer that crashed on the ridge.”_

_They made their way out of the temple in silence, both exhausted from their battle. Ben could feel a chaotic tangle of emotions from Rey. They had won, but no battle truly ended with the final blow. It would take time to sort through what had happened. They hurried to the ships. Rey helped him into the pilot’s seat._

_“Are you sure you’ll be alright alone?”_

_Ben felt his side where he had hit the cliff. He almost certainly had a few broken ribs, but it was nothing fatal. He kissed her. “I’ll be fine.”_

_“I’ll meet you on Ajan Kloss,” she said. “Hide in the jungle and we’ll figure out what to do next.”_

_She ran to the X-Wing and transmitted the coordinates to him. As he lifted off, it occurred to him what he was doing. He might not see himself as Kylo Ren anymore but that didn’t erase what he had done. With his mother gone, there was no one to protect him. Many of those in the Resistance would gladly shoot him on sight and the rest would want him tried and executed. He couldn’t think of a reason why he shouldn’t face their judgement. He didn’t want to die, but did he deserve to live?_

_As he approached the atmosphere, he turned off the navicomputer. Closing his eyes, he reached out with the Force to navigate. If he didn’t make it out, that would settle things._

_He lost track of how long it took him to find his way through the maelstrom surrounding Exegol, but finally the chaos gave way to the vast emptiness of space. He sat back and looked around at the stars. For the first time he felt lost among them. He reached to input the coordinates for Ajan Kloss, but something held him back. Guided by the Force, he punched in a series of unfamiliar coordinates._

As the sun began to set, Ben reached a plateau and found the charred remains of a ship. It took him a moment to recognize it. It was his ship. This was where Rey had come after their battle on Kef Bir. He could still feel the turmoil that had brought her here. He touched the hole in his shirt where she had stabbed him. Closing his eyes, he reached out with the Force to explore the Island. She had come here before, but there was a stronger presence.

Luke.

Ben laughed. This was where his uncle had been hiding, on this forgotten rock. He had come here to be forgotten. Ben took the lightsaber that had been passed down through three generations now of his family. Three generations of the most powerful Jedi in history and now here he was, the last Skywalker, a spectacular failure like those before him. He looked at the lightsaber and hurled it into the ocean. 

The wind cut through his tunic as the sun sank below the horizon. He needed to find shelter soon or he would freeze to death. He continued his climb and came to a small stone hut. It was cold, but it was out of the wind. In a chest in the corner he found a change of clothes. They were musty and the pants were too short on him, but the tunic was dry and the cloak would help keep out the wind. 

Along one wall he found a supply of brush and lumpy bricks of some material that looks like fuel for a fire. He built a small fire and found a mat and a blanket. He lay down, quickly falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

It was still dark when Ben awoke. The fire had burned to embers, but a blue glow filled the room. Luke Skywalker stood on the other side of the fire pit.

“What are you doing?” he asked in a weary tone.

“Sleeping,” Ben replied.

“I can see that,” Luke said flatly. “I meant what are you doing here?”

Ben sat up, every muscle in his body screaming. He limped over to grab another brick to stoke the dying fire. “I have nowhere else to go. I have no home. There’s nothing more for me out there.”

“Amazing. Everything you just said was wrong.” Luke slapped him on the back of the head. 

Ben glowered at him. “What?”

“You’re just repeating everyone else’s mistakes,” Luke said acidly. “Wiping out the Jedi, turning to the dark side? That’s your grandfather. Running away and leaving everyone else to clean up your mistakes? That one's mine.”

“Trying to kill your apprentice?”

“Also mine,” Luke admittedly reluctantly. “I don’t recommend it. So instead of running away, try going back and fixing things. Might be a mistake but at least it would be something new.”

Ben stirred the embers, watching as each one blazed to life for a moment only to dim again. “It’s too late for that.”

Luke sat down across from him. “The Force is strong in our family but so is that stubborn streak. You’re Han’s son too so you get it from both sides.”

Ben took a deep breath to quell the wave of nausea as the memory of his father flashed through his head.

“Running away isn’t the answer,” Luke said. “You can sit here for the rest of your life wallowing in guilt, but that’s not going to change anything.”

“What will going back change?”

“I don’t know, but before you destroy that TIE-Fighter, try the green milk. That’s what you’ll be eating, unless you like roast porg.”

“I’ve eaten worse,” Ben insisted stubbornly. He lay back down and fell asleep.

* * *

When Ben woke again, it was daylight. He wasn’t sure how long the planet’s rotation was, but it looked to be well into the morning. He found some old rations in the chest for breakfast and went outside to look at the island. He was still tired but he felt calmer after having slept. He wasn’t sure if his vision of Luke had been a dream or not, but it didn’t make a difference. The Force had led him here. Until it led him elsewhere, he would stay.

The next several days passed in peaceful isolation. By day he explored the island, discovering a labyrinth of caves and shrines. By night the dreams of Luke continued. Luke was insistent that he return home, but also provided him with information about the island, where to find food and other necessities, and the Jedi Temple that he had discovered. By the fourth night Ben finally started to listen. Luke was right about that stubborn streak in the family. Like their power in the Force, it could be used for good or evil, but it was up to him to control it.

One day as Ben hiked through the cliffs, he felt drawn to a cave. The rock had been worn away by centuries of waves, but there was still a faint inscription on the floor. A large hole had been carved in the rock above another cave. He leaned over to look but lost his footing. He fell, but he didn’t land in water as he expected. He landed on a marble floor in a large circular chamber. Out the window he saw a vast city bathed in the light of the setting sun. 

Suddenly the darkness descended. The chamber vanished, replaced by a vast hall. A haunting, cackling laugh echoed through the hall, along with the clunking of boots. The smell of burned flesh filled the air. Around him, brown robed bodies lay motionless. Behind him, the sharp sound of mechanical breathing cut through the cacophony. 

Ben ran. He could barely see what lay in front of him, but he knew he had to get away. He turned to look behind him and saw the silhouette of a black cloaked figure. He couldn’t see them clearly, but the dark presence was bearing down, threatening to engulf him. 

The floor gave way and he tumbled into a library. He looked around for the dark figure, but the only sound was his own ragged breathing. He stood and looked around to get his bearings. A voice seemed to whisper to him from the darkness but he couldn’t make out what it was saying. Cautiously, he headed toward the source. It was faint yet comforting, a light in the all consuming darkness. If he could reach it, he knew that he would find what he was looking for.

Ahead of him, the dark figure stepped into the aisle. The figure ignited a red lightsaber. Ben darted down a side aisle and hid behind a shelf. The glow of the saber cast eerie shadows on the floor. He could still hear the whisper, but the figure was blocking his path. He closed his eyes, trying to reach out to the whisper. He had to get to it.

Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and ran towards the whisper. He sped down the aisle, but through the gaps in the shelf he saw the dark figure running alongside him. At the end of a shelf, the figure stepped out in front. Ben skidded to a halt. For a brief moment he stood frozen in terror. The figure raised his lightsaber. The red glow revealed the face of a young man with a scar over his right eye. With his other hand, he reached out to Ben.

Ben stepped back, but there was nothing under his foot. He fell, landing in a sand dune. In the distance, the dark figure approached. He looked around desperately. There was nowhere to hide here. He had to fight but he didn’t have a weapon. He closed his eyes and listened for the whisper. In the distance he heard a faint call coming from a small hut. He hurried to the hut and ran inside. He opened a chest in the corner and took out a small box. Something inside called to him, but he couldn’t bring himself to open it.

As he set the box back in the chest, the dark figure stepped through the door. He raised his lightsaber to strike. Ben lunged forward and grabbed the lightsaber, thrusting it into the man’s chest. He looked at the face under the hood, expecting the cold hateful gaze from the library, but the eyes he saw looked at him with love. Ben stepped back and looked at the lightsaber in his hand. It was his own, Kylo Ren’s weapon. Suddenly he was standing in the reactor of Starkiller Base. 

Ben rushed forward and caught his father, slowly lowering him to the floor.

“I’m sorry,” Ben sobbed. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“Go home, Ben,” he said gently. “You’ve been away long enough.”

“It’s too late,” Ben said in a strangled voice.

Han smiled. “It’s never too late.”

A tear slipped down Ben’s cheek and fell into a pool of water as the vision dissipated. He was at the bottom of the hole at the edge of an underground lake. His legs shook as he stood and made his way out of the cave. He tried to make sense of the things he had seen as he staggered along the path back towards his hut. The Force had led him here to see this, he was sure of it, but what did it mean? What had the whisper been trying to say? 

“You won’t find the answers here.”

Ben looked up to see Luke standing in front of the hut. A fire was already burning inside.

“It takes a lot of effort to interact with the physical plane, so don’t let it go to waste.”

Ben changed out of his wet clothes and sat down by the fire. He told Luke what he had seen. Luke seemed to know but listened patiently as Ben recounted his vision.

“Go home, Ben,” Luke said again when Ben had finished.

“I can’t,” Ben said, a lump forming in his throat. “That’s what the box was,” he realized. “I couldn’t open it because I don’t deserve it.”

Luke knelt down and wrapped his arms around Ben. “If you think that, then I failed you worse than I thought.”

“I failed you, Master,” Ben said.

“No, it’s my fault for not seeing the truth.” Luke sat back, putting a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “You have to take responsibility for your own choices, you know that, but Palpatine has taken enough from this family and I will not let him be the end of us. You still have a place in this galaxy, but it’s not here. You need to go find it.”

Ben nodded. “Yes, Master.”

Luke stood. “Before you go, you might want to look in that chest.”

Ben looked where he was pointing. When he turned back, Luke had vanished. Ben scrambled over to the chest and opened it. Under layers of blankets was the box he had seen in his vision. He opened it. Inside lay two lightsabers, his grandfather’s and his uncle’s.

“The Force will be with you,” Luke’s voice echoed faintly, “always.”

Ben took the lightsabers out of the box and lay them carefully beside his mat. His path was still unclear, but he knew it was time to go.


	2. Corellia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After leaving Ahch-to Ben heads for his father's home planet of Corellia.

**Corellia**

Ben wound his way through the crowds as he headed down the street toward the spaceport. He hadn’t considered what going back to a civilized planet would mean. He had sold the TIE-Fighter for scrap to buy passage off world, but with the galaxy in turmoil traveling anywhere meaningful would be difficult. There was no way to know before he got to a world if it was held by the remnants of the First Order or by allies of the Resistance. Neither was likely to be kind to him if they discovered his true identity. The First Order would likely shoot him on sight. The Resistance would be more merciful but only up to a point. Officially Corellia was currently unaffiliated, but there were agents from both sides and everyone else on this planet would probably turn him over for a stiff drink and a hot meal. He needed to leave as quickly as he could manage, but he still had no idea where he was going. 

He had left Ahch-to without any real plan. Luke had told him to go home, but he didn’t have a home. He had grown up bouncing around the galaxy with no permanent home except the Millennium Falcon. On a whim he had decided to come to Corellia. He knew he would be able to sell the TIE-Fighter here, but it was also his father’s homeworld. He had hoped it might give him some insight into his family, but all he had learned was why Han had left this place as soon as he could.

A feeling of danger tickled the back of his mind. He kept walking but reached out with the Force to search for it. A few meters back, he found it. Someone was pursuing him. Ben put a hand on Luke’s lightsaber. 

No. It was too crowded. These were innocent people, refugees fleeing the destruction he had caused. A month ago he would have attacked without a second thought but he would find a way to settle this quietly. Besides, the lightsaber would draw unwanted attention. He tried to think how his father would have handled this.

_ Han handed him the blaster. _

_ “I don’t even pretend to understand all that Jedi stuff, you get that from your mother, but the Force is no substitute for common sense.” He guided Ben’s arm into position. “Now, you just aim and squeeze the trigger.” _

_ Ben fired the blaster at the target, missing by a wide margin. _

_ “It takes practice. But the key,” Han pointed a finger to emphasize his point, “is never hesitate. If someone is pointing a weapon at you, don’t give them a chance to use it. Don’t worry about a fair fight or any of that nonsense. Hesitate and you end up dead. You play to win or find another game.” _

For a moment he could feel his father’s hand on his shoulder. He wished now that he had listened more closely to his father, but that one lesson had been drilled into him. He had to eliminate the threat quickly before he was exposed. He cut down a side street. His pursuer followed. He pretended to trip, dropping to a knee and disappearing from view. The pursuer sped up, pushing through the crowd. As they passed, Ben reached out with the Force and grabbed their ankle. He dragged them down an alley and slammed them against the wall. He ripped the blaster out of their hand and pointed it at them.

“Who are you?” he demanded. 

_ “The First Order has put a bounty on your head.” _

Ben looked at the bounty hunter, taken aback by such a direct answer. “Did they hire you directly?”

The bounty hunter shook their head.  _ “Every bounty hunter in the galaxy will be after you. I just got lucky.” _

“I wouldn’t call it luck,” Ben said. “Even if you could kill me right now, you’d never get paid. If you take me in, they will kill you. If you try, I will. The First Order is dying, but you don’t have to. Walk away and you get to live.”

The bounty hunter wavered for a moment, torn between the warning and the promise of such a huge payout. Before they could act, Ben forced his way inside their mind. It wasn’t ethical but the information could keep both of them alive. He picked through the relevant details but there was very little of any use. The First Order was out for blood and they didn’t care who drew it.

He put the bounty hunter to sleep and briefly thought about stealing their ship, but he didn’t need that sort of trouble. He removed all memories of their meeting and implanted a suggestion that avoiding the First Order would be wise. He took what little money they had, along with their blaster and left.

In his head he heard Rey chiding him, but he wasn’t a Jedi. He belonged to neither the light nor the dark. The real world was more gray. He had made it this far with the Force as his guide, but he would need more than the Force to find his way. This was his father’s world. A world of necessity and survival with no room for doubt or hesitation.

He quickly made his way to the spaceport. There was no time to worry about where he should be going, he just needed to leave before anyone else found him.

_ Never hesitate. _

He looked at the departure list. The next ship was heading for Ord Mantell. When he left, there had been a strong First Order presence on the planet, but things could change quickly. 

_ Never hesitate. _

There was no time to think. There was no safe world. He would just have to be on his toes. He bought the ticket and headed for the security checkpoint. 

“Name?”

Ben paused for just a second. “Ben.”

The customs agent raised an eyebrow. “Just Ben?”

_ Never hesitate. _

“Solo. Ben Solo.”

The customs agent shrugged. “All right Ben Solo, good luck on Ord Mantell.”


	3. Ord Mantell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben lays low on Ord Mantell but it’s only a matter of time before his luck runs out and his past catches up with him.

**Ord Mantell**

Ben looked at his cards. His hand was good but not unbeatable. He silently thanked his father and Lando for making him learn to play Sabacc. He quickly reached out to the other players at the table, gently probing their feelings. None of them had a strong hand either. It was cheating, he knew that, but if no one could tell, then no one would complain. Besides, he wasn’t cheating honest people here, these were scammers and scoundrels. In the end it made little difference which scoundrel ended up with the pot.

The bidding made the final round and the players laid down their hands. Thanks to a last minute shift in the cards Ben won easily. The others grumbled as he collected his winnings.

“He cheated!” a Toydarian cried. “He hasn’t lost a hand all night. No one has that kind of luck!”

Ben shrugged as he put the credits in his satchel. “If you can’t afford to lose don’t play.”

One of the players screamed something in a language he didn’t understand, but it didn’t take C-3P0 to figure it out. Another player reached for his blaster. Ben nudged his shoulder with the Force, throwing him off balance. He sent a shower of cards flying at the other players and ran.

Chaos descended as several of the patrons in the club rushed him and others used the confusion to their advantage. Ben headed for the exit, trying to avoid getting drawn into a scuffle. Disturbances like this usually meant law enforcement. He had no idea who that was this week, he’d just as soon not find out.

He rolled under a table to avoid an angry Wookiee, but a Twi'lek caught him in the side with an elbow as he stood up. He cried out in pain, a flash of anger instinctively rising in him. He caught himself before he lashed out at the hapless Twi'lek. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to ignore the pain and continued toward the exit.

As he neared the entrance a man in a black suit and helmet rushed toward him with a bladed weapon. Ben rushed toward him, grabbing the man’s arm and twisting behind him. He grabbed the blade out of the man’s hand and kicked him in the back, sending him tumbling forward into the crowd. He tossed the blade on the ground and ran out the door.

He stopped in an alley to get his bearings. He set his bag on a ledge to quickly check his winnings. The pile of credits looked right. If his count was correct he could start planning his next move. He closed the bag and turned to leave, but he was surrounded by metal and lights. 

“You’re in trouble,” Rey said, “I can sense it but I can’t see you. Show me where you are and we can help you.”

Ben stared at her. She was sitting in the lounge of the Millennium Falcon. She looked up with red eyes. She had been crying.

“Ben, please,” she pleaded. 

He severed the connection. It wouldn’t do any good to tell her where he was if he was leaving. He hoisted the bag on his shoulder, but froze as a blaster was pressed to his back. 

“I’ll take the money,” a man’s voice said.

“I won that game fair and square,” Ben said nonchalantly. “Come back tomorrow and you can try to win it back.”

“Or I could hand you over for the bounty.”

Ben scoffed. “You can try.”

He had a split second to regret the taunt before the stun blast hit him.

* * *

Ben woke up on the floor of a store room. He reached for the bag, but it was gone. He screamed in frustration, slamming his fist on the ground.

 _“Keep your cool,”_ Han’s voice echoed inside his head. _“There’s always a way out.”_

He slowed his breathing and sat up, checking for his belongings. Whoever had brought him here had taken everything, but his things had to be nearby. They had other plans besides simple robbery or he would be lying in the street. There was still a way out of this if he kept a cool head.

The door opened and two women entered. The first wore a red suit and golden helmet that hid her face. The other had dark skin and curly dark hair. She was dressed in drab yet finely cut clothes. 

“A lot of people are looking for you, Ren,” the woman with the gold helmet said. “And they’re willing to pay to get you.”

“First Order bounty says dead or alive,” the dark-skinned woman added, glaring at him with contempt.

“Then your partner should have killed me,” Ben said. “You won’t get another chance.”

The helmeted woman laughed. “We’ll see about that.”

“Come with us.” The dark skinned woman drew her blaster. “And before you try anything, just know that I would love to shoot you.”

Ben nodded, carefully getting to his feet. He followed them into the main room. It was small and poorly lit. There was one small window and a large table with several chairs in the corner. On the far side of the table sat a man shuffling a deck of cards. His face was hidden by the shadows.

“Have a seat,” the woman with the golden helmet ordered.

“I don’t suppose I could get those lightsabers back?” Ben asked, taking a seat across from the man. “They won’t sell for much but have sentimental value.”

The man laughed. “What’s your name, kid?”

“You know that or I wouldn’t be here,” Ben replied.

The man chuckled, idly shuffling the cards. “Humor me.”

“Ben Solo.”

“And what brings you to Ord Mantell, Ben Solo?”

Ben shrugged. “Had to leave Corellia in a hurry.”

The man held up the cards. “You play?”

“I do, but you have all my money,” Ben reminded him.

“Maybe we can work something out.” The man dealt the cards. “We can play for information.”

Ben looked at the cards. He didn’t know what the man was after but he had no choice and nothing to lose. He could try to fight his way out but he would prefer to save that as a last resort. If played along, he might learn something useful.

The first hand went quickly. Whoever the man was, he knew what he was doing. He won the hand and passed the cards to Ben to deal.

“I guess I owe you some information,” Ben said, shuffling the cards. He needed to be careful not to reveal too much, but maybe he could distract the man next hand by talking.

“Where were you headed?” the man asked.

“I hadn’t thought about it,” Ben said, hoping the man focused on prying the information out of him.

“Oh surely you must have some idea.”

Ben shrugged and dealt the cards. “Not many places I can go, at least not for long. I might have made my way to the Outer Rim. There are a few planets the First Order doesn’t care about.”

“Thought about heading to Tatooine?”

“Why would anyone want to go there?” Ben asked.

“Lots of opportunities for a man in your position,” the man suggested. “Lots of places to hide.”

“What makes you think I’m trying to hide?”

“Ask me again after you win,” the man said.

Ben sensed that the conversation was over for now. He turned his attention to the cards. The round was going better for him but a last-minute shift in the cards handed another victory to his opponent. He passed the cards to his opponent to deal.

“Ask away.”

“Why did you betray the First Order?” the man asked. “I’ve seen plenty of that but not from the top.”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “Really? Because I’ve seen plenty of that. Apparently Hux was feeding information to the Resistance.”

“Yes, but the Supreme Leader? You don’t see that every day.” He drew a card. “And before I decide if I’m handing you over for the bounty, I’d like to hear your side.”

Ben stared into the darkness. There was something more going on here, but this was an opportunity. He might be able to convince the man to let him go, or at least hand him over to the Resistance instead.

“I realized that all my reasons for joining were based on a lie. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. I realized it a long time ago, but I thought it was too late. Someone showed me I was wrong.”

“Sounds like a woman,” the man teased. Ben just scowled at him. “A man? Non-binary? Non human?”

“I answered your question,” Ben said. “Deal the cards.” He would reveal as much as he needed to, but he wasn’t going to tell this man about Rey or his mother.

They played in silence. The round went to the man again, Ben was starting to suspect he was cheating.

“What are your plans now? Are you going to keep bouncing around the galaxy scamming lowlifes?”

“Thought you were planning to turn me in.”

“Humor me.”

“Save up for a ship I guess,” Ben said. “Then maybe I’ll get into smuggling. I’m going to spend my life on the run anyway, no sense in settling anywhere.”

Ben dealt the cards. He had to win a hand soon. With careful timing, he used the Force to slip a high card into his sleeve. This was no time to play fair.

“Have you thought about joining up with one of the crime syndicates or cartels?” the man asked as they played.

“Maybe after the First Order dissolves. Most of the syndicates would just hand me over for the bounty.”

“You’re probably right about that,” the man agreed.

The time came to show his hand. Ben quickly substituted a card. He won, barely, but he won. He felt a wave of irritation from the man, but he had set the rule.

“Where are my things?” Ben asked.

The man gestured to the dark-skinned woman. She set the bag on the table along with the two lightsabers.

_Never hesitate._

Ben grabbed Anakin’s lightsaber and leapt over the table toward the man. He froze as he saw the man’s face illuminated by the blue glow.

“Lando?”

“Hello, Ben,” he said calmly. “Have a seat, let’s finish the game.”

Ben turned off his lightsaber and sat down. Lando motioned for the women to lower their weapons.

“I don’t believe you’ve met my associates. This is Zori,” he gestured to the woman with the golden helmet. “And this is-”

“Your daughter,” Ben finished. Lando’s daughter had been kidnapped by the First Order as an infant like so many others. He looked at the woman. “I’m sorry for what was done to you.”

He felt a torrent of emotions from her, shock, anger, pity. The absence of hatred surprised him. She didn’t hate him for what he had done, but she was unprepared for him to apologize.

Lando took her hand, smiling gently. “Jannah my love, could you and Zori leave us alone for a while?”

“Call us if he causes any trouble,” Jannah said, glaring at Ben as she and Zori left.

Ben kept his lightsaber in his hand. Lando was notoriously devious and difficult to read. One thing was for sure, his fate had been sealed the moment he let Lando get the drop on him.

“Why didn’t you kill me?”

Lando went to a side table and poured them both a drink. “Because death is a bit permanent for my taste. I wanted to sit down and have a private chat before I did anything I couldn’t undo.”

“Rey told you what happened on Exegol,” Ben said. “She must have or you wouldn’t have used the stun setting.”

“She told me everything,” Lando said, handing Ben a drink. “I understand why you didn’t come to Ajan Kloss, but what are you doing on Ord Mantell?”

“You already asked me that,” Ben said.

Lando sipped his drink slowly. “Humor me.”

Ben took a sip of his drink and told Lando what had happened after Exegol. Lando listened carefully, his expression never changing. When he had finished, Lando sat silently for a moment, contemplating his story.

“Were you serious about that smuggling idea?” he asked. “I know some people who need a good pilot and wouldn’t ask questions.”

“Maybe,” Ben shrugged. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

“I never did much of that either,” Lando mused. “Neither did your father. We just bounced around the galaxy trying to stay one step ahead of whatever trouble we were running from.” He paused to take a sip of his drink. “It worked out all right for a while but it starts to wear on you.”

“I don’t have much of a choice.”

Lando picked up Luke’s lightsaber from the table. “Han and I didn’t have much of a choice either, but we weren’t made for that sort of life. Our problem was that deep down we were good people.”

Ben finished his drink. “I don’t have that problem.”

Lando looked at him. “Yes you do, Ben. You’d forgotten that but you are a good person. Han and Leia never doubted that. I wasn’t sure, but I can see it now. I don’t know what you’re looking for but you won’t find it this way.”

“I don’t know what else to do,” Ben said. 

“Go where you’re needed,” Lando told him. “There are a lot of problems in the galaxy. Go fix a few of them.” He slid a small case across the table. “That’s enough to give you some options. You might also want to get a change of clothes and a blaster from after the Clone Wars. No idea where you dug up this relic,” Lando said, laying the bounty hunter’s blaster on the table, “but it’s a practically museum piece.”

“I haven’t had much use for it but it matches the jacket,” Ben quipped.

Lando raised an eyebrow. “You don’t want to hear my thoughts on that jacket.”

Ben stood and put his weapons back on his belt. “If you’re not going to turn me in, I should be going.” 

Lando pulled him into a firm hug. Ben tensed up for a moment, but let himself relax and enjoy the warm embrace. Lando was the closest thing he still had to family, the last link to his parents. 

Lando finally let him go. “May the Force be with you.”

“And with you,” Ben said. He reached for his bag, but paused. “Wait, how did you find me?”

Lando grinned. “Just luck. General Dameron sent me here to assess the situation. I heard about someone cocky upstart calling himself Solo who kept taking everyone’s money at Sabacc.”

Ben laughed softly. “I guess I should be grateful you never tried to play.” 

* * *

Ben headed back to the small room he had been renting and counted his money. It was almost enough for a tiny rundown ship, but Lando was right, he couldn’t keep this up for long.

He closed his eyes and reached out with the Force. He hadn’t tried to do anything like this in years, but he couldn’t keep running around the galaxy aimlessly. He had let the Force guide him so far but he had to start thinking ahead.

He sat down on the bed with his legs crossed and slowly levitated himself. He let all the distractions fade away and listened to the energy of the universe. The vision on Ahch-to had been leading him to something, but he still wasn’t sure what. He tried to search for the whisper again.

He searched everywhere he could think of but the whisper was silent. He felt a pull from Rey but he wasn’t ready to reach out yet. Just as he was about to sever the connection he felt a faint tug from somewhere else. It wasn’t as focused as Rey’s. It was wild and grasping, a desperate attempt in a hopeless situation. 

He followed it, seeing just the briefest flashes, but one glimpse was enough to give him his next destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying the story drop a comment and let me know what you think!


	4. Ruusan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guided by the Force, Ben heads to the planet of Ruusan to help in the fight against the First Order. But can he do anything and will the Resistance even accept his help?

Ben scanned the horizon one last time as the sun sank below it. He had been here for three days but the planet was completely quiet. Neither the First Order nor the Resistance had any noticeable presence on the planet. That could change quickly, but so far it was quiet. He put the binoculars back in his bag and headed back to the room he had rented.

Like most places in the galaxy, Ruusan had a long and bloody history. In the Clone Wars the planet had sided with the Separatists and one of its moons had housed a listening outpost. Under the Empire it had faded into obscurity and escaped relatively unscathed. After the fall of the Empire it had decided to remain independent. Lacking a strategic position, it had been of no particular interest to the First Order. With the dying regime making a desperate grab for solid footing, anywhere in the galaxy was at risk, but he was starting to think he had been mistaken.

He stopped in his room for a quick meal before heading up to the roof. The city was quiet and the weather in this area had been pleasant. With little else to fill his time, he had spent much of it meditating on his vision. Much of it was still unclear. Who had been chasing him and what was the whisper trying to tell him? He calmed his mind and let the vision play in his head, trying to focus on the details he may have missed. The cackling laugh almost certainly belonged to Palpatine. As long as he lived he would never forget that feeling of darkness he had experienced on Exegol. The breathing belonged to Darth Vader. He had expected to see Vader in the library, but the piercing gold eyes had been just as haunting. It was a creature of the dark side, but was the vision telling him to run or to face it? When he had grabbed its weapon, it had morphed into a vision of his own mistakes.

A sudden disturbance in the Force brought him out of his meditation. He sprang to his feet, drawing his lightsaber. In one smooth motion he ignited it, deflecting the laser blast that had been aimed at his head. From another roof he heard a cry as it hit his assailant. The bounty hunter staggered back against the wall. Ben jumped to the roof and rushed in, pressing a foot on their chest.

“How did you find me?”

“You didn’t exactly keep a low profile on Ord Mantell,” the bounty hunter groaned. “It wasn’t difficult to track you here.”

Ben cursed under his breath. If one bounty hunter had tracked him here, more would, and there was a good chance that the First Order knew as well. 

Another pull in the Force drew his attention. He looked up in the dark sky as four Star Destroyers appeared. Muffled shouts echoed through the street. Moments later an alarm sounded. 

**THE PLANET IS UNDER ATTACK. TAKE SHELTER IMMEDIATELY. ALL SECURITY FORCES TO YOUR STATIONS.**

Ben lulled the bounty hunter to sleep with the Force and ran back to his room. The roar of engines filled the air as the dropships headed for the city. Ben grabbed his bag and watched from the window as the stormtroopers landed and swarmed toward the city. The thought that he might have led them here flitted through his mind, but he pushed it aside. The First Order was here and he had to help these people somehow. He couldn’t take on an entire invasion force by himself. For now he would stay in the city and help where he could. 

He took Anakin’s lightsaber and ran toward the edge of the city. The security forces were scrambling into position as the Stormtroopers advanced. Their defenses would not hold long, and he had a feeling that they were not meant to. It seemed their strategy was to draw the enemy into the narrow streets and thin out their numbers. It might work if the First Order cared about taking the city, but if the battle turned they would destroy the entire city in a heartbeat. Still, in an urban battle there was more he could do to help. 

_ Let the Force guide you, _ Luke’s voice echoed in his mind.

Ben put his lightsaber back on his belt and closed his eyes. He forced himself to stop analyzing the situation and let himself sink into the Force. He let the roar of battle fade to a distant hum, listening for the call that had brought him here.

He heard it. There was a pull from the other side of the city. 

He ran toward the pull. As he neared the center of the city, the screams of the frightened citizens mixed with the scream of blasters. He understood now. They had split their forces, putting the bulk of their strength into the main gate while a smaller force took the more lightly defended side of the city. 

He cut down an alley and scaled the building to survey a large plaza in the middle of the city. Below, captured troops and civilians were being herded into the large square. Stormtroopers selected people at random and ordered them against a wall. He readied his lightsaber. This was a common tactic. Execute a handful of random civilians to instill fear in the rest and make the population more docile.

“Ready. Aim. Fire.”

Nothing.

Seizing his opportunity, Ben ran toward the Stormtroopers. As he approached, he noticed that their armor was ill fitting and they were unusually short. Fear rolled off them. 

“Fire!” the commander ordered again.

One of them dropped their gun and fell to the ground sobbing. Their helmet fell off. It was a child, no more than twelve. Using half-trained recruits was a sign that the First Order’s resources were strained to the breaking point. 

“PZ-7845! Stand up.”

The child shook their head, sobbing uncontrollably. The commander aimed his blaster. In a moment Ben leapt into action, igniting his saber as he jumped. The commander was dead before either of them hit the ground. A few of the child soldiers halfheartedly aimed their blasters at him but made no move to attack. 

“You’re free now,” he told them, using a subtle Force suggestion to help combat any lingering obedience to the First Order. He turned to the civilians. “Is there somewhere safe you can go?”

“Yes.”

“Take these children with you. They are deserters now.”

“Are you with the Resistance?” one woman asked hopefully.

Ben hesitated, taken aback by the question. “No,” he said finally. “But I have friends in the Resistance that can help you.”

“We have a comm system at our base,” a man told him. 

Ben looked toward the army on the other side of the city. The First Order surrounded them, but even a Jedi could not be everywhere. He was needed here.

“Lead the way.”

* * *

The exhausted group finally arrived at the shelter. Hundreds of others were there already. It would hold off the attack for a while but they needed help and soon.

“The comm system is over here,” a woman said. She led him to a dusty console in the corner. “Can you work it? I need to get these people settled.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Ben sat down at the console and closed his eyes. He cleared his mind and sought out the bond he shared with Rey. She was alone in the pilot seat of the Falcon as it hurtled through hyperspace.

“I’m on Ruusan.”

She gasped in surprise, turning toward the copilot seat. She leaned over and slapped him. “You’ve been hiding from me!”

“And I would have stayed hidden but these people need your help.”

“What are you doing on Ruusan?”

“Running. The First Order put a bounty on my head so high every bounty hunter in the galaxy is after me.”

“I guess you are a Solo after all,” Rey quipped.

Ben couldn’t help chuckling. “Well then the First Order showed up in person. I don’t know if they were looking for me or if it’s just a coincidence. I don’t know if they’re invading any other areas of the planet or not, but this city is about to be overwhelmed.”

“We’re already on our way, we’ll be there in four hours,” Rey said. “Wait there.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Ben said. He severed the connection. If the Resistance forces were on their way that meant this operation had already been planned. He felt a moment of relief, but he still had to help these people. The defenses wouldn’t hold forever. He had to buy some time.

He went to a quiet corner in the supply room to meditate. He closed his eyes and tried to let the Force guide him, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. Looking around, he spotted the young stormtroopers watching him from behind a stack of boxes.

He smiled gently. “What is it?”

One of the older troopers, a boy of about thirteen, crept forward to look at him. “Are you Kylo Ren?”

Ben paused for a moment to consider his answer. “Kylo Ren is dead. You can call me Ben. What’s your name?”

“BL-5980,” the boy answered. He looked at the others uncertainly. “Are we dead now too?”

Ben frowned for a moment but then he understood. They knew who he was. There was no way they wouldn’t and they were baffled to find him here. They knew that he wasn’t actually dead but had abandoned the First Order as they had.

“BL-5980 is dead,” he told the boy. “You are someone else now. You get to decide who.”

The boy frowned nervously. “I don’t know who to be.”

Ben felt a sharp pang of guilt. The First Order had stolen these children. They had never been taught to think for themselves beyond what was necessary to carry out a mission. They needed someone to show them.

“Well you could start by picking a new name,” he suggested. “You can’t go by BL-5980.”

“What name should I use?”

Ben looked at the boy for a minute. “Bail. It was my grandfather’s name. He was a brave man and a hero of the rebellion.”

The boy looked at him with a mix of fear and wonder. Kylo Ren was giving him a name. The name of someone who had stood against everything they had been taught. 

“BL-5980 is dead,” he said finally. “My name is Bail.”

“What about me?” The child who had been crying ran out, almost bouncing.

Ben looked at the child, a girl. She had a sensitive soul but a fiercely independent spirit. This one has been trouble before. 

“Amilyn,” he said immediately.

“PZ-7845 is dead,” she declared without hesitation. “My name is Amilyn.”

The rest of the children crowded around asking for a name. Some were wary but most embraced the chance with enthusiasm. As he gave out names, he felt a cautious optimism from them. Searching for the right name for each child was a challenge. He thought back to the stories his parents had told him about their adventures in the rebellion and the names of fallen warriors. Biggs, Jyn, Cassian, Bhodi, Hera, Sabine. He came down to the last few. 

“HN-1138,” the boy said with a cocky smirk. Ben sensed a stubborn defiant streak in him.

Ben couldn’t help but smile. “Han.”

The last two came over, a boy and a girl. The boy was a bit shy, but the girl held his hand, pulling him over to Ben.

“He likes your lightsaber,” she said. “We’ve never seen one up close before. Can we hold it?”

“Be careful.” Ben handed one to each of them.

The girl ignited the blue blade, staring at it in wonder. The boy held Luke’s timidly, but reverently. Ben felt a resonance in them. These two were Force sensitive. Suddenly it made sense. They were the ones who had called to him. He put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. 

“Luke.”

He turned to the girl. 

“Leia.”

He turned to the children. “Those names belonged to great heroes of the Rebellion. Brave people who gave their lives to fight for freedom. You don't have to fight anymore if you don’t want to, but we’ve been on the other side and we know what they’re up against.”

“I’ll fight,” Leia said, looking at the blade with a fierce determination.

“I thought so,” Ben said. “Now get some rest while you can. The Resistance will be here soon.”

Ben took the lightsabers back from Luke and Leia and resumed his meditation. There had to be something he could do to help these people. He had been the Supreme Leader of the First Order. He hadn’t known as much as he had thought about his own regime, but there still had to be something that could help them. Suddenly it struck him.

“Bail!” he called. The child turned, unused to the name, but he finally came back. 

“Yes sir?”

“What ship did you come here on? Who’s the commander?”

“The Tarkin,” Bail said. “Admiral Corran.”

Ben grinned. “Thank you. I think you may have just saved us.”

* * *

The leader of the shelter looked at Ben in shock. “You want to do what?”

“I think I can take out the command ship if you can get me a fighter with proton weapons.”

“We have fighters but we’re shot on trained pilots. You’ll be going up alone.”

“I know.” 

The leaders traded a skeptical look. 

“What you’re talking about is a million to one shot. You’ll never make it.”

“It's a long shot, but if it works it could save thousands of lives,” a man said.

“If I die, then you’re only out a ship that was going to be destroyed anyway,” Ben said. “At the very least I should be able to create a diversion that should buy you some time.”

The leader of the people handed Ben a remote. “This will lead you to the hangar. May the Force be with you.”

Ben headed for the exit. Luke and Leia were waiting for him there.

“So you’re just leaving then?” Luke asked with a hurt look.

“There’s something I need to do,” Ben told them.

“We need you,” Leia said. “You can’t turn your back on us now.”

Ben put a hand on their shoulders. “I’m not, but I have to take a different path. The Resistance is coming, but I need to buy some time for them to get here.”

“Will we ever see you again?” Luke asked.

“Close your eyes for a moment.”

The children traded a look, but closed their eyes.

“Breathe, and try to quiet your mind.” He waited a moment until their breathing fell into a steady rhythm. “Now reach out with your feelings. Feel the connection you have with each other and with me.”

He waited a moment while they struggled to figure out his meaning, then he felt Leia’s mind touch his. She gasped in surprise, pulling back. Luke maintained his concentration and also touched his mind, probing his thoughts. Instinctively Ben shut him out. He took a breath, calming his mind to avoid overreacting.

“You felt it,” he said.

“What was that?” Leia asked.

“The Force.”

“The Force?” Luke asked. 

“The Force is an energy field created by living things. It binds the galaxy together. Learn to feel it, let it guide you, and you will never be alone.”

“Can you teach us?” Luke asked.

“No, but I have a friend who can. Her name is Rey and she’ll be here soon.” Ben smiled and pulled his hood up. “May the Force be with you.”

* * *

Ben double checked the readings as the fighter soared through the sky over the city. He had one chance to take out the ship. If he could, it might create enough confusion to give the Resistance time to get here and maybe shorten the battle.

He took the ship in low over the battle, firing at one of the AT-AT. Banking to the right, he turned back for another pass and pulled up just as it exploded. He headed for the atmosphere. The bay doors of one destroyer opened, releasing a squadron of TIE-Fighters. Ben rolled and weaved to avoid giving them an easy target.

“Ruusan fighter. This is General Poe Dameron of the Resistance. Need a hand there?”

“Thanks.”

“Where’s the rest of your squadron?”

“There isn’t one. Long story but I’m trying to take that command ship out.”

“What’s the plan?”

“This ship has a defect in the shields. There’s a weak point over the starboard thruster. Hit it hard enough and she’ll be disabled.”

“That’s pretty specific,” Dameron said, with a hint of mistrust.

“I don’t have time to explain how I know that. Just trust me.”

“That’s suicide!” a female pilot said.

“I’ll make that run if you guys can keep them off of me,” Ben said. “But if we don’t take out the command ship they’ll never last long enough for help to arrive.”

“What the hell,” Poe said. “I’ve flown crazier missions. Gold 5, Gold 8, hang back and pick off any TIE-Fighters you see. The rest of you, form up. We have a better chance if we hit it more than once. New guy, what do we call you?”

“Ben.”

“OK Ben, let’s do this.”

The X-Wings formed up behind him. The TIE-Fighters raced toward them. The two on the end peeled off to face the squadron as the rest sped through the formation of Star Destroyers. They flew close to one at the rear of the formation, approaching the Command ship from behind.

“Aim at the thruster on the starboard side. The shield is weak toward the top on the outside.”

He zoomed in, waiting until the last minute before firing and pulling away. The X-wings followed his lead.

“It didn’t work,” one of the fighters said.

“You sure about this, Ben?”

“Yes.”

“Then we hit it again.”

“There was a small glitch about three meters toward the center from where we hit,” one of the others said.

“Aim for that!” Ben told them.

“Alright, one more pass, then we get down to that planet.”

“That’s all we need,” Ben said as they swung around for another pass. He steadied the ship, aiming carefully for the weak point.

_ Use the Force, Ben. Let it guide you. _

Ben wasn’t sure if it was Luke or just a memory but he remembered the story of how his uncle had destroyed the Death Star. He stopped thinking about it and let himself feel the target. He pulled the trigger and pulled away.

“What the hell, that actually worked!” someone cheered.

Ben turned back to see the explosion.

“You have the target!” Dameron called. “Hit it with everything you can!”

The others fired on the same spot. As they sped away, the thruster flickered and then exploded in a brilliant flash.

“You did it, you crazy son of a bitch, you did it!” Dameron cheered. Lights on the ship flickered and small explosions erupted from the surface. She would probably be salvageable, but she wouldn’t do much good in this battle. 

“Alright, let's head down to the surface and soften them up for the ground troops maybe-”

A blast hit Dameron's X-wing, sending it out of control. It hurtled toward the planet.

“Poe!” cries echoed across the comm.

“I’ll get him, you have your orders!” Ben said.

He dove after Dameron. He pulled alongside the X-Wing, matching its speed. He reached out with the Force. Dameron was alive, but unconscious and badly injured. He had a minute to think of something. He reached out with the Force to stabilize Dameron’s descent. It was difficult to maintain while flying and he soon gave up on the idea of using the Force to land the fighter. He scanned the controls for anything that might help. He found a tow cable. Assuming it worked, it might at least help slow their descent.

He put on a burst of speed and shot ahead of Dameron, firing the tow cable as he passed. It landed on the cabin of the X-Wing. As they entered the atmosphere, he pulled back on the throttle. He felt the pull of the X-Wing as gravity started to take over. Suddenly the fighter lurched up. Ben looked down to see the X-Wing in freefall. The cabin hood had broken off. 

There was one option left. Ben leveled out the fighter and set the autopilot. He opened the hatch and leapt out. Reaching out with the Force, he pulled himself toward the X-Wing. He crouched in the cockpit. With one hand he grabbed the restraints and with the other he pulled the manual ejection. The seat shot out of the fighter, falling for what seemed like a lifetime before the parachute deployed. As they landed, his stomach revolted. He ripped off his helmet and vomited on the ground.

Ben took a deep breath to calm his stomach, then turned to check on Dameron. He was unconscious and bleeding from his head. Ben put a hand on his chest and probed his injuries. They weren’t fatal, but out here without prompt medical treatment that could change. He thought back to how he had revived Rey. He would have to control it better this time. He carefully opened himself to the Force, letting the energy flow from him into Dameron. He felt Dameron regain consciousness and let the energy flow stop.

“Am I dead?” Dameron asked.

“No,” Ben said, undoing the restraints. “Do you know where you are?”

“I’m not telling you anything,” Dameron said, pushing past Ben. He staggered forward and stumbled. Ben rushed to help him. 

“Stay still, you’re injured. We’re on Ruusan. You were shot down.”

Dameron looked up at the battle above as his head started to clear. “Did you just save my life?”

Ben nodded.

“And that was you up there blowing up the Star Destroyer.”

“Yeah.” Ben looked around for his fighter. It had landed about 30 meters away. He had done all he could. He handed Dameron a bottle of water from his bag. “I have to go.”

“Wait!” Dameron called as he ran towards the fighter. Ben paused. “You think this makes up for everything you did.”

“No, but it still needs to be done.”

“You broke her heart. You know that?” Dameron yelled.

“Which one?” Ben asked.

“Both of them!” Dameron hurled his helmet at Ben. Ben caught it and handed it back to him.

“I know,” Ben said. “If there was a way to make it right I would. Stay here until the Resistance arrives and don’t make your injuries worse. They need you alive.”

Dameron stared at him at a loss for words as he turned and ran towards the fighter.


	5. Takodana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Ruusan, Ben tries to find somewhere safe to regroup.

Takodana

Ben slipped through the dark forests of Takodana toward Maz Kanata’s palace. He had hoped to get further before he ran into the next bounty hunter. This wasn’t the best place to hide, but if he was recognized, his pursuers might waste enough time fighting each other to give him a head start. 

He pulled his hood lower on his face as he approached the entrance. He found a seat in a quiet booth near the back and ordered something strong and warm from a passing droid. He was running low on money but he was tired. He needed a few hours to stretch his legs and plan his next move. If he was lucky, perhaps he could take a quick nap before he was thrown out.

He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. He felt a familiar presence approach. He moved his hand to his lightsaber but didn’t make any hostile moves. He opened his eyes as Maz slid into the seat across from him.

“If you’re here to kill me, I understand, but I won’t let you. I know I deserve it but I’m not quite ready to give up.”

“If I wanted to kill you, I would have poisoned your drink and sent it over with a droid,” Maz said, sliding the steaming cup toward him. 

Ben eyed it suspiciously, but it was the first warm thing he had had in days. He took a sip, letting the warmth of the cup seep into his hands. “I didn’t know where else to go. If you just give me a few hours to rest I’ll be on my way.”

Maz leaned across the table and took his hand. “My dear boy. You don’t know how long I’ve hoped for this. Leia never gave up on you, not even after Crait. She always knew you’d come home.”

Ben’s eyes suddenly filled with tears. Everything he had been holding back suddenly washed over him. Maz climbed over the table and wrapped her tiny arms around him as he cried. It had been so long since he had let his guard down. For the first time, it really sank in that his mother was gone. She had given her life to bring him back to his senses. Now she was gone and he couldn’t even tell her that he was sorry.

He lost track of how long he sat there with Maz holding him but finally the tears ran dry. He sat up and drank the now cooled drink that Maz had brought him. He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat.

“I have to go, the longer I stay here-” Maz cut him off with a firm head shake.

“You need a good meal, a hot bath, and a warm bed,” Maz argued. “Tomorrow we’ll see about getting you off this planet but tonight you need to rest.”

Ben started to argue but he realized how exhausted he was. His ship was damaged, and he had been looking over his shoulder since Corellia. This was probably the only place where he would actually be safe. He let Maz lead him to a quiet room. A droid arrived with food and Maz readied the bed while he ate.

“Where are you planning to go once you leave?” she asked. “It’s a big galaxy, you can’t just wander around aimlessly.”

“Why not?” Ben asked.

“You can look for something or let something find you. Better to be the one to choose.”

“I’m going home,” Ben said. “But I don’t know where that is. I tried to follow Luke, he told me to leave. I’ve been chased across the galaxy by bounty hunters,” he chuckled wryly. “Like my father. I tried to fight the First Order but what can I really do by myself? Lando told me to go where I’m needed but I don’t know where that is.”

Maz took his hand, staring deep into his eyes. “There’s something calling to you. You just have to listen for it.”

Ben put down his spoon. “I had a vision on Ahch-to. I was in a large building, a temple perhaps. There were Jedi everywhere, then everything turned dark, and they were dead. A man with a red lightsaber was chasing me. I hid, but then I turned a corner and he was there.” 

“Did you see who it was?” she asked.

“There was a flash of lightning and I saw his face. I don’t know who he was, but then another flash and it was my face, then again, and I was holding the lightsaber and looking at my own reflection. What do you think it means?”

“That is something that only you can determine.” Maz thought for a moment. “But the place, it sounds like the Jedi Temple on Coruscant.”

“Coruscant?” Ben said. “But Palpatine turned that into the Imperial Palace. What could I find there?”

“A thousand generations of the Force cannot be so easily erased, and something is calling to you. I don’t know if you will find what you seek there, but that is your path.”

“My ship was damaged in a run in with a bounty hunter. I don’t think I could make it there.”

“I’ll take care of that.” She handed Ben a clean tunic from the closet. “Clean up and get some rest.”

She left. Ben turned on the water to fill the bathtub. He stripped off his clothes and set them in the basket. He slipped into the hot water, stretching his legs as much as the tub would allow. He leaned forward to dunk his head under the water. When he came up he was face to face with Rey.

“You’re naked,” she stammered.

Ben looked down. The water just barely covered her breasts. “So are you.”

Blushing, she quickly covered herself with an arm. Ben reached out with the Force and grabbed a towel from behind her. She quickly wrapped it around herself.

“Aren’t you going to cover up?”

He reached for the soap dish and dropped a fizzy disk in the water. 

“I just got in and I haven’t had a bath in weeks.” He thought back. “Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve changed clothes since Ord Mantell.”

He leaned back as the fragrant fizz clouded the water. It spread to Rey's side but she kept the towel clutched tightly to her chest.

“I’m on Takodana,” he told her. 

“Why are you telling me?” Rey asked. 

“Maz would have told you,” he said.

Rey smiled. “You’re with Maz, so I guess that means you’re safe.”

“For now. I still have every bounty hunter in the galaxy on my trail. I tried to sell the fighter on Fellucia but someone recognized me and followed me across the galaxy. Where are you? How did things go on Ruusan?

“We managed to drive the First Order out and I have two apprentices now.”

“Good, they made it.”

“Along with the rest of the people you rescued. And three hundred stormtroopers laid down their weapons and joined us.” She smiled. “Led by Han and Bail.”

“I’m glad to hear it. How is Dameron?”

“Alive thanks to you,” Rey said. “Although very confused. He spent four days brooding in the infirmary.”

“Are you safe? Where are you?”

“Naboo,” Rey said. Ben felt a slight ripple of unease from her. “They’ve agreed to take in some of the deserters. It’s also a strategic position to launch an offensive against several First Order strongholds, but they don’t have a military so they’re vulnerable to attack.”

“Sounds like a mutually beneficial arrangement. Are the negotiations not going well?”

“No they’re fine. The Naboo are very eager to help.”

“Then why are you nervous?”

“Well it’s important and if we can’t do what we need to then we’ve placed these people in even greater danger.”

“Are you uneasy because that was Palpatine's homeworld?” Ben asked.

Rey averted her eyes but he could feel that he had struck a nerve. The knowledge of her lineage had shaken her to the core. They had defeated him, but that did not change where she came from. She was part of a line of terror and fear. The only way to counter that was with love and understanding.

Ben smiled warmly. “Remember who you’re talking to here?”

“I keep looking over my shoulder and questioning everything I see,” she said quietly. “How do we know he’s really gone? He was manipulating the galaxy from beyond the grave for decades. How do we know we didn’t play right into his hands?”

“Would you have been happier if you had never found out?” Ben asked. His intentions for revealing her lineage had been selfish, but he still felt he had done the right thing. 

Rey thought for a moment, then shook her head. “I know now that my parents left because they loved me. They did everything they could to protect me until I could protect myself. Knowing that is worth knowing the rest.”

“But you’re still afraid,” Ben said.

“How do I know I won’t be seduced to the darkness?”

“I tried,” Ben said. “And you seduced me back to the light.”

“You wanted to be seduced,” Rey said, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

“And you didn’t,” he said. “You had the choice and you chose the light. You might face that choice again someday but you have the strength to make the right one.”

Rey reached out to take his hand. “So do you.”

She leaned over to his side and placed a soft kiss on his lips. His hands trembled as he placed one on her back. She put a hand on his shoulder and settled on his thigh. She brushed a lock of damp hair out of his face and kissed him again, a deep slow kiss. He pulled her closer, feeling the weight of her body against his. 

Suddenly she pulled back, falling into the water. “Something touched my leg!”

Ben felt his face flush as he realized what had happened. Reys turned red as well.

“That was your-”

“Yeah, sorry.” Ben took a deep breath. 

“I just wasn’t expecting it,” Rey said. 

A thought suddenly occurred to him. He was no expert but Han had explained more than he had wanted to know at the time. Rey however had grown up on an isolated desert planet surrounded by aliens. 

“How much do you,” he paused, unable to form the words, “know?”

She looked at him for a minute before her eyes went wide. “Oh! Poe explained it. He’s very experienced and he will, I think the phrase Leia used was ‘chase anything with 23 chromosomes’. He thought Finn and I needed to know a few things. Although Finn was more interested than I was.”

“So you’ve never-”

She shook her head. “Have you?”

“No.” He shifted. “We don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Rey blurted out. “If it’s with you, I want to.”

“Doesn’t have to be right now,” Ben said quickly.

“No, I should probably go.”

“Me too.”

She paused, leaning in again to kiss him. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

Ben let the connection fade. He finished his bath and changed for bed. After the last several days he was exhausted, and he was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

* * *

The morning was bright and cheerful as Maz led Ben out to the ship. Clean, fed, and well rested, he felt better than he had in years. The warm fresh breeze gently rustled his hair.

“I’ve paid them to take you to Coruscant with no stops and no questions but stay on your toes anyway,” Maz cautioned him.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” Ben said, kneeling down to give her a hug.

“Just stay out of trouble, and come back to see me,” Maz said, patting him on the cheek.

“


	6. Coruscant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's journey takes him to Coruscant where he finds the answers he has been searching for, and a few surprises

**Coruscant**

Ben looked out at the ruins of the building that had been the Imperial Palace, and before that, the Jedi Temple. Nearly all traces of the Jedi had been wiped out during the Empire, but in his arrogance Palpatine had left the Jedi Temple mostly intact, converting it to his own palace. Yet, whatever had changed could not erase the generations of Jedi who had trained and lived there. There was something in there calling to him.

In the years since the fall of the Empire, the area surrounding the palace had been abandoned. The New Republic had been preoccupied with other matters and the planetary government had been reluctant to go near it for fear of hidden traps, opting instead to seal off the area and wall up the entrance. For decades it had stood unoccupied and decaying, but with the news of the Emperor’s brief return, Imperial loyalists and Sith cultists had come out of the shadows in hopes of following their leader once more. After the Resistance victory at Exegol, they had converged on the palace. Their objective was unknown, but there was almost certainly something sinister afoot. 

As the sun set and the lights of the city came on, Ben made his way back to the abandoned apartment where he had been staying. The district around the building had been deserted by the normal citizens of Coruscant. The luxury apartments and government buildings still stood, but were now occupied by the sorts of people who would have once been kept far away. Residential buildings had turned into brothels and hiding places. Military offices had been seized by one criminal organization or another. The only people brave enough to venture this close were those who didn’t want to be found. 

He stopped to buy something from a food stand. It was some sort of meat with an assortment of vegetables wrapped in a dark yellow flatbread. He sat down on a nearby bench to eat. As he pulled back the wrapper, he heard a familiar roar that sent a shiver down his spine. He looked up as Chewbacca knocked the wrap out of his hands and grabbed him by the throat, squeezing nearly hard enough to crush his windpipe. Ben kicked at his stomach, clawing at his paws in a desperate attempt to free himself before he lost consciousness.

_ “You filthy little nerf header!”  _ Chewbacca yelled, slamming Ben against the wall. “ _ I’ll snap your ribs one by one and shove them down your throat, you bantha brained scum!” _

Ben gasped for air, but Chewie’s grip was firmly locked. He lifted Ben in the air and slammed him against the wall again. Ben passed out with Chewie’s furious roar ringing in his ears.

* * *

The first thing Ben saw when he came to was a woman with dark hair and almond shaped eyes pointing a large blaster at him. Ben tried to sit up, but his hands were restrained behind his back.

“He’s awake,” she called.

A dark skinned man came over. It took Ben a minute to recognize him. FN-2187. That had been his name when he had defected on Jakku, but like all the others, he probably had a new one. Had Rey ever mentioned it?

He crouched down closer to Ben. Finn, that was his name. “Well, well, Kylo Ren. Never expected to see you here.”

“Likewise,” Ben said, rubbing his throat. “Although honestly I didn’t expect to wake up.”

“But you did, and the reason for that is that I want to know what the Supreme Leader of the First Order is doing skulking around a gathering of Imperial loyalists.”

“That’s a fair question,” Ben admitted. “But I’m not sure the answer is going to make sense.”

Finn paused for a moment. “The only reason you’re not dead yet is that you saved the two people I care about most in the galaxy, and what you did on Ruusan saved a lot of lives and gave us the advantage we needed. So I’m going to give you a chance to convince me that I shouldn’t call Rose back over to shoot you.”

Ben thought for a moment. How much should he reveal, and how much would even be believed? Finn was willing to listen but he wasn’t going to trust Ben easily. His best chance was to tell the truth and hope honesty counted for something.

“How much do you know about the Force?”

“Rey explained it to me,” he said. “And she told me about everything that happened on Exegol.”

Ben nodded. “After Exegol I went to the Jedi temple on Ahch-to. I had a vision that brought me here.”

“To the Imperial Palace?” Finn asked sharply.

“To the Jedi Temple,” Ben corrected. “Something inside is calling me. I don't know what, but I need to go in there.”

Finn studied him carefully for a moment. “Don’t move.”

“Won’t be a problem,” Ben called.

Finn retreated to another room where Ben could sense a large group. Strong emotions swirled around, most of them negative and directed toward him. He used the Force to sharpen his hearing.

“So, what did he say?” the woman from earlier, Rose, asked.

_ “You should have just let me snap his neck!” _ Chewbacca roared.

“We’re not going to kill him. We’re going to work with him,” Finn said reluctantly. A deafening silence followed. “His objective is the same as ours, the Imperial Palace,” Finn continued before anyone could recover. “I think we have a better shot of getting past those Imperials with him.”

“Finn! Have you lost your damn mind?” another woman asked. “After everything he’s done?”

“He’s lying, we can’t trust him!” a man added.

“I don’t think he’s lying,” Finn said.

“How can you be sure?”

“Just a feeling, but after what he did at Ruusan, I think he’s earned the benefit of the doubt.”

“No, he hasn’t,” Rose cried. “Saving your boyfriend doesn’t give him a free pass.”

Finn sighed. “Let me remind you all that I’m in command of this mission. Our intel says there’s something very dangerous in there. We can’t let it fall into the wrong hands and I’m going to use every resource I have to help this mission succeed, including him. If anyone has a problem with that, you can sit this one out.”

There was a pause, but none of the group left.

“Alright then,” Finn said. “We’re going to fill him in on the plan and see what he knows.”

Finn came back in and knelt to undo his restraints. “I’m going to assume you were listening to that.”

“Yeah,” Ben confirmed. “And I’m guessing everyone in that room is holding a weapon and all of mine are locked safely away.”

“And I’m also going to assume that you don’t actually need them, and there’s a reason you’re still here,” Finn said. 

Ben sat back against the wall, rubbing the feeling back into his wrists. “I have no intention of betraying you,” he assured Finn. “I had no idea you were even here, but I think the Force brought us together for a reason.”

“I really really hate to agree with you, but I think you’re right.” 

The door slid open and C-3P0 entered with a tray.

“Master Ben? It is you! I can’t believe it!”

“Good to see you, 3P0,” Ben said.

“I am so glad to see you!” He grew quiet for a moment. “I am sorry to have to tell you, but your mother-” 

Finn took the tray. “Thank you, 3P0.”

“Oh well, then, I guess I’ll leave you.”

C-3P0 retreated. Ben felt an ache in his chest at the thought of his mother, but he pushed that thought out of his mind. He needed to focus.

“As I was saying.” Finn turned on a holographic model of the Imperial Palace. “After Palpatine’s message, Imperial loyalists started flocking to the Imperial Palace. We don’t know what they’re planning, but whatever it is though we can’t let them have it. Our plan was to set charges at the base and level the building.”

“Which has two major flaws,” Ben said. “First, that building is heavily shielded and this may not work. Second, if what they’re looking for is some kind of weapon, you risk triggering it.”

Finn nodded. “We’ve already considered both of those things, which is why we’re waiting.” He clicked the button and the model zoomed in to the walled off entrance. “They’ve been working to break through the barrier. They should breach it in a few days and that’s when we’ll attack. We’ll go in, locate the weapon and place charges in key structural areas.”

“How can I help?”

“Seriously?” Finn asked. “Get us in there. We have twenty people and there are about fifty Imperials. Do what you’re good at and kill them.”

“Simple and effective, I like it.” Ben said. 

Finn stood. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow with the whole team. Get some rest.”

“Why are you letting me help?” Ben asked.

Finn paused. “Because you’re our best chance.”

“There’s more to it,” Ben said.

“Are you reading my mind?” Finn demanded. 

“Just a feeling.”

Finn hesitated. He sighed and turned to Ben. “Because what you did on Ruusan, saving Poe’s life, helping take out that Star Destroyer, I think Rey was right about you.” He took a deep breath. “But the thing that really convinced me was helping those kids. You not only saved their lives, but you gave them something to hold on to while they try to build a new life. I don’t know if you really understand what that meant to them, but it tells me that you’re making a genuine effort and I think giving you a chance to make things right will do more good than punishing you.”

He left, leaving Ben alone in the room. Ben ate his meal, contemplating this new turn of events. He had his way in, but he still didn’t know his objective. If their goal was to destroy the palace he couldn’t just wander around aimlessly. He closed his eyes to meditate.

Clearing his mind, Ben reached out for the whisper he had heard in his vision. It was louder now, but he still couldn’t hear what it said. He let himself sink deeper into the Force. He was back in the library. The dark figure was nowhere to be seen. He ran toward the whisper, but the hall seemed to stretch forever. Finally he stopped running. He had been running since Exegol. He closed his eyes.

“Show me. You want me to see something. Show me.”

He opened his eyes and he was standing in front of a towering statue of the Emperor. That unmistakable cackle echoed through the hall. From behind the statue, a dark figure stepped out, morphing into Darth Vader.

“You have destroyed the Emperor, now claim the full power of the Sith and take your place as the ruler of the galaxy.”

“No,” Ben said. “This isn’t real. I won’t fall for this again.”

“It is your birthright as my grandson. Rise up and fulfill your destiny.”

Ben instinctively reached for his lightsaber. He found Anakin’s hanging on his belt.

“You are not my grandfather,” he said, looking at the lightsaber and then back at Vader. “My grandfather was Anakin Skywalker. You are a twisted shadow of him.”

“Skywalker was weak and foolish,” Vader said.

“He was arrogant and naive, but he was a good man, deceived, manipulated by the Sith,” Ben replied. “As was I, but no more. The Sith are gone and I won’t let them rise again.”

Vader’s lightsaber blazed to life. “Then you will be destroyed.”

Ben ignited his lightsaber and parried Vader’s strike. He attacked and they traded a flurry of blows.

“Do you really think you can escape your fate? You know the power of the dark side.”

“I do,” Ben said. “I also know the strength of the light. I used to think there was no way back, but I was wrong. A single act of love can break the hold of the dark side. Someone showed me the way and I won’t let that act be in vain.”

He reached a hand toward the statue, pulling at it with the Force. It began to crumble-

_ “Wake up, you lazy good for nothing flea bag!” _ Chewbacca roared, shattering his concentration.

Ben looked out the window. It was daylight and he hadn’t slept at all. He was exhausted but he knew now what he had to do.

* * *

Ben stood in the back of the room drinking some stimulant beverage that the blond woman with the two side buns had given him. He was sure she would poison him if given the chance, but he was too sleepy to make it through this briefing without it. Finn turned on the hologram.

“Alright, our time table has been moved up a bit. Connix estimates that the Imperials will breach the wall by tomorrow evening so that’s our window. We’ll hang back and wait for them to break through, then we move in, take them out and blow the place.”

“What about the weapon?”

“Based on some new intel from our guest, we think it’s located here.” Finn pointed to a sublevel. “This used to be the Jedi Archives. It’s deep in the structure, but there is a statue of the Emperor that shows the location.”

“How does he know?” Rose asked.

“The Force,” Ben said. “I can’t explain it, I just know it’s there.”

“So we’re going to risk our lives on his information.”

“No, I am,” Ben said. “I’ll go disable the weapon while you plant the charges.”

There was a long pause.

“Ok, if no one’s going to say it, I will,” Finn said. “It’s a suicide mission. We don’t know exactly what’s down there. The building has been sealed off for decades.”

“He already volunteered,” a man said.

“I don’t need C-3P0 to tell me the odds, but we can’t leave something like that to be dug out later. I’m the one with the best chance of getting down there and destroying it. Besides, I came here to find that thing. It just so happens that we’re both trying to get through the door.”

“Alright.” 

Finn continued with the rest of the briefing, but Ben was only half listening. He thought about his vision. His vision on Ahch-to was clearer now. He had been running from his past, but it was time to face it. Everything he had done, all the mistakes he had made, all the people he had hurt, it was time to face what he had done and atone for his actions.

“So that’s the plan,” Finn concluded. “Get some rest and make your preparations. Chewie, lock him back in the room until we’re ready to go.”

Chewbacca grabbed the back of his shirt. Ben just hung there like a baby animal. It was undignified but he knew better than to fight a Wookiee. 

_ “Stay in there and don’t cause trouble, you worthless skin bag,” _ Chewbacca roared, tossing Ben onto the bed.

Ben lay down to go back to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

* * *

When Ben woke up, C-3P0 was standing at the foot of the bed with a tray.

“What is it, 3P0?”

“General Finn told me to bring you something to eat and also to keep an eye on you and make sure you didn’t try to escape.”

Ben sighed. “You were never great at lying, were you?”

“Oh, I am quite adept at deception when the occasion calls for it, but it seemed unnecessary.” He set the tray down and shuffled off to the side.

Ben looked out the window at the setting sun. “Well if you’re not going to go away, then I guess we could talk. I’m going to be in here a while.”

“Absolutely, sir! It’s been so long!” 

Ben ate while 3P0 prattled on about everything that had happened since his departure. Ben listened, occasionally asking 3P0 to elaborate on something. For a moment he felt like he was a child again, sitting in bed with 3P0 telling him a story. 

“And Mistress Rey has been so worried lately. I really don’t know what to do, but she sent me on this mission so I suppose she doesn’t need me.”

C-3P0 was silent for a moment. “If you will forgive my saying so, I think that Mistress Rey is worried about you. I feel that I should tell you this mission you’re going on is rather dangerous. The odds of you surviving are-“

“I know,” Ben cut him off gently. “And if something happens, tell her I’m sorry.”

“There is one other thing I think I should tell you. Mistress Leia was recording messages for you. R2 has them but I had a memory wipe on a recent mission and when he uploaded my memory back up, some of the recordings were uploaded into my memory banks as well. I warned Master Poe that R2’s memory banks are unreliable as best, but-”

“3P0, does this have a point?” Ben cut in.

“Oh, well in light of the danger, I think she would want me to share it with you.”

_ “Ben, my darling boy. I love you. We left Crait three days ago and I feel like you’re farther away from me than ever. Rey told me what happened and I have to admit that it’s getting difficult to believe that you’ll find your way back to me. And yet, there was that one moment in space. I could feel you and I know you heard me.  _

_ It’s strange. Somehow I feel like you’re with me. Something about Rey’s presence, I feel like she brought you back with her somehow. I know it sounds silly and it doesn’t make any sense, but when I hold her I feel like you’re there in my arms. I love you, Ben.” _

Ben wiped the tears from his cheek but they kept falling. He should have guessed she would do something like that. He wished that he could tell her so many things, but more than anything that she had been right and that he would do what he could to honor everything she had fought for.

“Master Ben?”

“I’m alright, 3P0,” Ben said in a choked voice.

C-3P0 shuffled forward and patted him on the head like he had so many times when Ben was a child. He couldn’t help but smile.

“Is there anything I can do?”

Ben sat up straight, taking a deep breath. “Could you get me something to drink?”

“Of course, sir.” He shuffled out, leaving Ben alone.

Ben sat up straight and closed his eyes. His mother was gone but Rey was out there. He could still talk to her. He felt for Rey’s presence. When he opened them she was seated at an ornate dressing table looking at herself in the mirror. She wore a flowing gown of blue silk embroidered with orange leaves. 

“Still on Naboo?”

She quickly checked her hair and stood up. He had never been concerned with her appearance, but the blue was very striking.

“I recognize the clothes. Naboo has a very distinct fashion sense. You look nice.”

“My clothes got a bit torn up on Ord Mantell,” she said shyly. “And the queen of Naboo insisted on loaning me something to wear. I feel overdressed.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“I feel overdressed but I’ve never worn anything this soft.” She lifted the edge of her gown and swished the silk around. “It’s so light and it flows like water. It’s incredible.”

“It suits you,” Ben said. 

He stroked her arm, his fingers gliding over the fine silk. She deserved so much more than he could offer her. If only he had made a different choice or they had met under different circumstances, then perhaps he wouldn’t have caused her so much pain. She had brought him back from the path he had taken, but what could he do for her? How could he ever be worthy of someone like her? Their roles had reversed. She was a leader, brave, powerful, respected, the first of a new order of Jedi. What was he? A scoundrel, a traitor, a nobody from nowhere. He was nothing.

“Not to me,” Rey whispered in reply to his unspoken thoughts. She put a hand on his cheek and pulled him in for a kiss. 

Ben slid his hand along the silk and down her back, pulling her close. She slipped an arm around his waist and pressed her body against his. He let the kiss linger, enjoying the warmth of her lips. Her hair had an exotic scent, earthy and sweet, like sun-ripened fruit. He held her tighter, taking in every small detail of her body.

He felt Rey's hand grab his crotch. They looked at each other for a moment, frozen in shock. Finally Rey stepped back, her face a bright red.

“I thought that was your lightsaber!” she cried.

Ben wrapped his robe tightly to hide the growing bulge in his pants. Rey started laughing.

“What are you laughing at?”

“I'm sorry, I can’t help it!” she giggled. “I just never thought of you as shy. It’s sweet.”

Ben listened to her laugh. He had only heard it once before on Exegol. The rest of their brief time together had been spent in turmoil and pain. It warmed his heart to hear the joy in her voice, to know that he could make her happy. He took her hand, 

“Listen, the reason I’m here is that I’m facing a dangerous mission tomorrow. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

He felt a flash of fear running through her. “Are you at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant?”

“I had a vision on Ahch-to leading me here. I don’t know why, but there’s something in there that’s calling to me.”

“Finn is there. They’re going to-”

“I know, we ran into each other.” 

“Ben, please don’t do anything foolish. I almost lost you on Exegol and it felt like a part of me was being torn to pieces. I can’t do that again.”

He cupped Rey's face in his hands, gently laying his forehead against hers. “I love you, Rey. I haven’t shown it in the best way, but I do.” 

“I know,” she said, running her hands through his hair. “Please come home.”

Ben kissed her again, embracing her tightly. He felt a strong pull, the bond they shared drawing them closer, pulling him back to her. He forced himself to let her go. If he held on much longer, he might not have the strength to do what needed to be done.

“May the Force be with you,” he said as he severed the connection. He opened his eyes to find C-3P0 standing there with a cup.

“I didn’t want to interrupt you, sir,” he said, setting the tray on the table.

“Thanks.” Ben looked out the window. “We have some time. Could you tell me a story?”

“Gladly! Is there one in particular you’d like to hear?”

Ben thought of his mother. “Tell me about the rebellion.”

“Oh, that was always your favorite. Let’s see, how did it start?”

Ben settled back to listen, allowing himself a few hours to forget what was coming. 

* * *

The sun was low in the sky when Finn opened the door. 

“Briefing in 10.” Ben nodded and followed him out to the main room. He took a seat toward the back and waited. Finally when everyone was assembled, Finn began.

“We have three hours until the breach so this is it. If you have any questions or concerns this is the time.”

Connix raised her hand, eyeing Ben. “I’m not calling Kylo Ren over the comm, so what the hell do we call you?”

“Ben Solo.”

He felt a ripple of irritation from several people in the room, but they held their tongue.

“Alright, let’s review the plan,” Finn said. “You all have your positions. Get there and hold until they penetrate the barrier. Once that happens, we’ll attack. Solo will go in first while the rest of us provide cover fire.” 

“How do we know he won’t just join them and turn on us?” someone asked.

Finn glanced at Ben.

“What’s left of the First Order wants me dead and that includes the Imperial loyalists.”

Finn pressed on,ignoring the question. Solo will head for the entrance and take out as many of the guards as he can. Once they breach the barrier we’ll move in. Solo will go in first to locate and disable the weapon. We’ll follow after the Imperials have been neutralized and plant the charges.

Finn looked at Ben. “You have an hour. After that we blow the charges and bury this place, and you with it.” 

“If we’re lucky,” Rose muttered. 

_ “And if you betray us, I’ll drag you back in there and strap you to a column with a thermal detonator shoved up your exhaust pipe, laserbrain.” _

“I’ll do my part,” Ben promised, “just make sure you level the place.”

He sensed that the others were still wary of him. He understood why but he knew what that sort of mistrust could do to a mission. He needed to find a way to set their minds at ease, but how could he? 

Finn stepped forward, the same thought on his mind. “Alright, I know that a lot of you are hesitant to trust Solo and that’s fair. We’ve lost good friends and seen the worst of the galaxy, but we've also seen the best. The Resistance has shown me that people can do better if you give them a chance. We put our faith in that idea and that’s what sets us apart from them. We won by trusting each other and trusting that when it comes down to it, people will do the right thing. We can’t abandon that idea now or everything we fought for will fall apart.”

“And if he screws us over we can just blow him up,” Rose said.

“Alright, let’s go!”

The team moved through the streets in small groups to avoid attracting attention. Weapons were a common sight in this area but an army would be noticable and could alert the Imperials. Ben made his way there alone. The plan was for him to approach from the opposite direction and distract them while the rest of the team moved in from the other side. He crept along the side of the building. They had placed guards around the other side, but they were distracted.

Ben concealed himself behind a pillar and reached out with the Force to grab the guard by the throat. He quickly snapped the man's neck and moved forward to attack the next guard. He would wrestle with the moral implications of that move later but he couldn’t risk anyone raising the alarm. He took out the final guard and approached the edge of the building. 

“I’m in position,” he said.

“They’re almost through,” Connix replied. “Five minutes.”

Ben knelt to meditate. He was going in greatly outnumbered with hostile allies for backup. He would have to keep a clear head if he wanted to make it inside. After several minutes, the roar of the machine stopped. 

“They’re through,” Finn said. “Go now!”

Ben drew both of his lightsabers and ran toward the Imperials. The ones with blasters turned to fire on him while the ones using hand to hand weapons advanced cautiously. He deflected the blaster bolts, taking out several of the Imperials. The others surrounded him. Judging by their weapons they were likely Imperial guards. He shrugged impatiently, waiting for them to make the first move.

“It’s Kylo Ren!” one of the machine technicians shouted. “He killed the Emperor!”

“If you’d like to join him, I’d be happy to help you with that,” Ben said.

The guards rushed in. Ben stepped to the side and parried a strike with one saber while stabbing the other into the guard’s chest. He let the strike flow into his next attack, cleanly slicing through the torso and severing the arm of the next attacker. He followed up with a beheading strike and spun to face the next one. His movements seemed to flow as he danced through the carnage. There was no anger or enjoyment, it was simply survival. He had a mission and they were in his way. 

The last guard fell, and Ben had a moment to breathe and assess his situation. The rest of the Imperials held back, frozen in awe. Ben rushed toward them, pressing his advantage. They recovered just as he sliced through the first one. His lightsabers were a blur as he deflected a volley of blaster fire.

“Any time now!” he yelled. 

A hail of blaster fire took out several of the Imperials. Their attention turned to the new threat for just a moment, but that was enough for Ben to strike. He somersaulted into the middle of their ranks, cutting down half a dozen of them before they could turn. 

Ben moved toward the entrance to prevent the Imperials from entering the building. Pinned between Ben and a Resistance strike team, they were quickly overrun. As the Resistance moved, one of the bolder Imperials grabbed a weapon from one of the fallen guards and rushed Ben. 

Ben turned to parry the strike but a bolt from Chewbacca’s crossblaster streaked past his cheek and hit his attacker in the face, blowing his head clean off. 

“What were you aiming for?” Ben asked.

“Solo!” Finn yelled, “we can handle it from here. Get inside and find that weapon.”

Ben ran inside, footsteps echoing through the cavernous building. It reminded him of the First Order facilities he had spent the last decade in, stark and metallic, designed to intimidate and control. He guessed they also had a similar security system, which meant any unauthorized intruder would be eliminated. A moment later that assumption proved correct as an automated laser turret dropped from the ceiling. He deflected the laser bolt back at it, but more dropped down. He reached out with the Force and ripped them out of the ceiling.

He paused for a moment to quiet his mind. He couldn’t just run around aimlessly. He let the roar of the battle outside fade away and listened for the whisper. He heard it calling from below.

“Show me the way.”

In his mind he saw his path. He ran down the corridor to a lift. He wiped the dust off the control panel and tapped the button. It gave him an error message. He tried it again. This time the doors slid open. It seemed suspiciously easy but he got in the lift. Immediately the door slid shut and the lift dropped, plummeting down. 

He quickly cut a hole in the roof with his lightsaber and climbed on top, holding tightly to the falling car. He closed his eyes and reached out to time his move. A few meters from the ground, he jumped, grabbing the rails of the lift. The car crashed into the ground. Ben waited a moment for the dust to settle before dropping into the remains of the car. He cut through the door and dropped into the room.

It was cavernous and dark. He sensed something at the end of the hall. The whisper called to him, louder than ever. He had found it, but he couldn’t make out what it was trying to say. He turned on a lantern and ran toward the source. A large statue appeared in the darkness, the one from his vision, a gray stone likeness of Palpatine. He placed his hand on it and probed the statue with the Force. He could hear the whisper, but it was muffled, masked by a dark energy. 

Suddenly the darkness erupted into a fierce shriek. Ben collapsed, disoriented by the disturbance. He forced himself to collect his thoughts and push back against the darkness. He channeled his energy into the source of the dark energy, forcing it back. The stone shattered. Exhausted from the effort, Ben was unable to move out of the way. A large chunk of stone landed on his leg. He felt the bone snap. He managed to channel the Force enough to deflect the rest of the rubble.

He lay there for a moment as the dust settled. The pain in his leg threatened to overwhelm him, but he wasn’t finished yet. He looked where the statue had stood. There was a large metal structure tied to a support beam. He lifted the stone off his leg and crawled over to examine it. It was a large laser weapon. The barrel was pointing at the floor, no, at the planet. This had been placed here as a back up for the remains of the Empire, either to destroy the planet or hold it hostage. 

Ben slumped against the frame of the weapon. This was what he had been brought here to do. Once it was destroyed, he would be trapped down here by the rubble. With his leg broken and the elevator out of order, he would never make it out in time. He took the thermal detonators out of his bag and held them to the statue. It would be quicker this way.

“Mom, I’m sorry. I don’t know if you can hear me, but please watch over her.”

He had done his best to make things right, but it almost seemed fitting that he should die here. The Force had led him here. He didn’t deserve a second chance, but he had at least earned a hero’s death. Maybe his sacrifice would let him be reunited with his mother. 

He activated the detonators and closed his eyes. He listened to the chirp as it counted down the last seconds of his life. Suddenly they were ripped out of his hands.

“No!” Ben opened his eyes. Luke stood in front of him. The detonators flew into Luke’s hand. He switched them off and tossed them aside.

“I taught you better than that.”

“What are you doing?” Ben cried. “They’re counting on me to destroy this.”

“Find another way,” Luke said. “Trust your feelings and stop being such an idiot.”

Ben looked at him. “After everything I’ve done, wouldn’t it be better this way?”

“Afraid you are!” A small wrinkled figure appeared beside Luke.

“Master Yoda,” Ben said in awe.

Yoda looked at him sternly. “Still running from the past.” Yoda shook his head. 

“I don’t want to run from it,” Ben insisted. “I’m here to face it and pay for my crimes.”

“The coward’s way out this is!” Yoda admonished. “Fear the past, you do. Change it you cannot, hide from it you cannot. If let fear rule your actions you do, then destroy you it will.”

“Go home, Ben,” Luke said. “Leave this place and go back where you belong.”

“How can I when I’ve caused so much pain?”

The figure of a bald man with dark skin appeared. “Do not let yourself become trapped by the past. Learn from it, take what you need, and move forward.”

A tall man with long hair and a beard materialized. “As a new era takes shape, a new Jedi Order must grow with it. It was always the destiny of the Skywalkers to bring an end to the Jedi Order of the Old Republic one way or another.”

“Unfortunately he chose the other,” a second bearded man with shorter light brown hair muttered. “But the Jedi live in you and Rey now. Let the past be a foundation, not an anchor.”

Ben thought about the touch of Rey’s hand on his cheek. He wanted more than anything to go back, but he wasn’t certain he could face what came with it. Yoda was right, he was afraid.

“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”

Luke knelt down and put a hand on his shoulder. “Let the Force guide you.”

Ben looked at the weapon. Something called to him from deep inside. He closed his eyes and reached out, probing the structure of the weapon. He almost laughed when he realized what it was. The weapon was powered by a large kyber crystal. He held out his hand and with the Force, carefully deconstructed the weapon to expose the crystal. He levitated it away from the machine. It had a sinister red hue, imbued with the hatred of the man who had put it here, but at the very core there was a small fracture. Ben channeled his energy into that small crevice, chipping away at the rage and malice that surrounded it. Suddenly the crystal shattered. The red pieces fell to the floor, but one small fragment hung in the air, glowing a brilliant purple.

Ben stepped over the shattered fragments and took the crystal. He felt it pulsing, still calling to him like a homing beacon. It had been calling to him since Ahch-to. He closed his eyes and reached out with the Force, letting it flow through him and into the crystal. The pulse fell into rhythm with his own heart. He took Anakin’s lightsaber from his belt and used the Force to deconstruct it and expose the blue crystal inside. He switched it with the purple crystal and closed the casing around it. He ignited it and the purple blade sprang to life. This had always been meant for him. The last vestige of a past fraught with turmoil and contradiction. In a mass of malevolence, this small core of goodness had endured. 

An alarm from his comm brought him back to reality.

“Solo, check in.”

“I found the weapon,” Ben said. “It was superlaser powered by a kyber crystal. I dismantled it and destroyed the core.”

“You have 10 minutes. We’re almost done and we’re starting the timer the second we leave.”

“Any way you can make it 30? I kind of broke my leg.”

“I’ll try, but hurry.”

Ben took a few pipes from the dismantled weapon and stuffed them in his boot around his broken leg. He ripped off a sleeve to secure it and limped back to the elevator. He climbed through the wreckage and looked up. There was a rail along the side that would work as a ladder. It would be slow going without the use of his leg, but he didn’t have much choice. He wasn’t going to give up now.

He began the slow climb up. By the time he reached the top, his arms burned from the exertion. He rested his weight on his good leg for a minute to catch his breath. He reached out to open the door, but he couldn’t focus. He was too exhausted and in too much pain to do much more than hang here.

“Mom, Rey, I’m sorry,” he said. “I tried, I really did.” 

He took out the comm. “Finn, I don’t think I can make it. I can’t get the lift door open. Tell Rey I’m sorry.”

“Tell her yourself!” Finn snarled. “I’m sending help.”

Ben hung there. He wasn’t confident that anyone would come, but there was nowhere to go but down. A few minutes later he heard a tap on the door. 

“I’m in here!” he cried. 

The door exploded inward. A furry paw grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out of the shaft.

_ “You’re slowing us down, moof milker!” _ Chewie roared as he slung Ben over his shoulder. 

Ben gently probed Chewbacca's mind as they headed for the exit. It was a tangle of emotions, but a sense of duty and loyalty was the strongest. It was unlikely that he would ever forgive Ben, but his loyalty toward Han and Leia wouldn’t allow him to leave their son to die. 

_ “I got him, let’s go!”  _ Chewbacca roared as they approached the others. 

A few of the Resistance members looked at him with disappointment but said nothing. Finn pressed the time into the main detonator. 

“Ok, that’s it, let’s go!”

They ran out to the plaza where the transport was waiting and boarded quickly. Chewbacca dumped him on the floor against a box. Ben bit his lip to keep from screaming at the pain in his leg.

“Thank the maker!” C-3P0 said as the pilot lifted off. “But I didn’t hear a-”

A deafening explosion rocked the city. The pilot turned around briefly to confirm the destruction. They watched as the elegant spires toppled into the dust and smoke. The ship climbed toward the sky and lurched into hyperspace. Ben felt a massive release of tension from everyone.

“Great job, everyone,” Finn said. 

Rose looked at Ben. “So what do we do with him?”

“Push him out the airlock?” Connix suggested.

Ben reached out with the Force to take hold of his lightsaber. He didn’t want to kill anyone, but he would defend himself.

“No!” Finn said. “We’re not killing him.”

“You think he deserves a chance just because he helped us blow up a building?” Rose asked. 

“It’s not about what he deserves, it’s about what we believe, ” Finn argued. “You’re the one who told me that we don’t win by destroying what we hate, but by saving what we love. He’s given us plenty of reasons to hate him, but that’s not who we are. He helped us and we owe him a chance.”

An awkward silence fell over the ship. 

_ “Drop him in some desert and let’s go home,” _ Chewbacca roared.

Murmurs of agreement rippled through the ship. Connix checked the navicomputer. 

“Tatooine isn’t too far out of the way.”

“Maybe we can find a Hutt to sell him to,” Rose suggested.

Finn considered it for a moment but shook his head. “I think trying to avoid every bounty hunter in Mos Eisley will be punishment enough.”

“That’s fine,” Ben said. “But could you at least give me a pain killer? My leg feels like a rancor stepped on it.”

_ “Quit whining or I’ll break the other one,”  _ Chewbacca said.

Finn drew his blaster and set it to stun. He fired and Ben slipped into unconsciousness.


	7. Tatooine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being left on Tatooine, Ben reconnects with his family history.

**Tatooine**

The wind stung Ben’s face as he headed toward his destination. This was his first time on Tatooine but it was probably the closest thing to a home planet that he had. The story of the Skywalkers had started here and no matter how far they traveled, this planet always seemed to be the center of their universe. 

He headed for the half buried homestead. This was where his uncle had spent his youth, watched over from afar by Obi-wan Kenobi. The city of Mos Eisley was close by; the city where his father and uncle had crossed paths, a chance meeting that would bring Han and Leia together. In the other direction lay Mos Espa where his grandfather had first met Obi-wan Kenobi. 

He looked down at the entrance to the homestead but a side building drew his interest. The entrance was nearly covered over with sand, but he was able to dig out a small opening. He wriggled though and found himself in a garage. It had been scavenged of anything valuable, but a few broken tools and parts lay on the ground. In the dust lay a model of an old T-16 Skyhopper.

Ben bent to pick it up. He was certain it had belonged to Luke. His uncle had spent his youth here, dreaming of distant stars and a father he had never known. If he could have seen the future, would he have been so eager to leave? 

Ben took out the saber that had now been held by three generations of his family. Now he was the last Skywalker, heir to a legacy he wasn’t certain he could carry on.

“Leia will always be with you.”

Ben activated his lightsaber and spun to face the new arrival. “Who’s there?”

A figure appeared in the darkness, a glowing apparition of a tall man in Jedi robes with a scar over his right eye.

Ben deactivated his lightsaber. “You‘re not Luke. Are you Obi-wan Kenobi?”

“No.” The man shook his head with an amused smile. “You already met Master Obi-Wan on Coruscant, and I don’t think he’d have anything helpful to say here.”

Ben looked at the man. “Vader.”

He smiled sadly. “I was once. Just as you were once Kylo Ren.” The man looked around the dark room. “You can call me Anakin.”

“Why are you here?”

“You came here seeking guidance,” Anakin said. “Luke’s tired of repeating himself so you get me.”

Ben took out his lightsaber. “I’ve heard you calling out to me. I thought you were telling me to carry on your legacy, but I was wrong.”

“The dark side is powerful,” Anakin said solemnly, “but it twists your perception. I made the same mistake.”

“What did you lose?”

“The very thing I wanted to save.” 

Anakin reached out to touch Ben’s cheek. A flurry of memories flashed through his head. The deep pain of loss burned in them. Anger, fear, rage, desperation. The memory lingered on a woman with long dark hair, for a moment, Ben’s thoughts went to his mother, but this was someone else. Ben saw her in a white dress, then standing on a balcony, her stomach swollen. The fear in Anakin's heart was overwhelming. Fear, pride, anger, desperation, betrayal.

Power.

Ben saw her again standing on a platform surrounded by glowing lava. The look on her face mirrored the anguish in Anakin's heart.

_ You’re breaking my heart! You’re going down a path I can’t follow. _

“Grandmother,” Ben whispered.

Anakin nodded, a tear slipping down his cheek. Loss, rage, revenge. It burned inside him until there was nothing left but an empty husk bent on destruction. Then suddenly a spark.

Hope.

The young pilot by the name of Skywalker. His son. Her son. The last link to his past. He had not failed completely.

Fear.

Luke has been hidden for a reason. The Emperor would destroy him. He had to find Luke first. If he could turn him to the Dark Side, they could overthrow the Emperor. He could not save Padme but he would save Luke.

_ There is another. _

She had been there all along, the Princess of Alderaan. He had stood behind her as her planet was destroyed, pursued her across the galaxy. She had been hidden in plain sight. The spitting image of her mother in looks and spirit. Luke’s furious attack surprised him, but his words as he faced the Emperor surprised him more.

_ I am a Jedi, like my father before me. _

The one person who had every reason to doubt him, to hate him, to destroy him, still believed that he was worth saving. In that moment, Vader felt his anger dissolve. There was no hatred in his heart as he turned on his master, only a desire to return the faith that Luke had shown him. As he felt the last of his strength leave his body, he felt the light return to his heart. He looked on the face of his son one last time, he thought of the daughter he would never know.

_ Tell your sister you were right. _

Ben fell to his knees, shaking. He held the image of his mother in his mind.

“Do you think she ever forgave you?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Anakin said softly, crouching down to put a hand on Ben’s arm. “But I know she forgave you. Go home.”

Ben looked at him, tears blurring his vision. “How can I when I’ve caused so much suffering?”

“Those who loved you never gave up hope,” Anakin reminded him. “They need you now. The Galaxy needs the Jedi. Rey needs your help.”

“I fear I would just hold her back.”

“That fear is holding  _ you _ back.” Anakin put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t make the same mistake I did. When she calls out to you, go to her.”

Ben looked at the lightsaber in his hand. He had idolized the man who made it, unaware that he was being fed lies in his grandfather's voice. He had walked a similar path. He stood now at the crossroads with the same choice, but he didn’t know if he had the courage to take another path.

Anakin clasped the hand that held the saber.

“The legacy of the Skywalkers lives in you now, Ben. The Force is strong in our family. Let it guide you.”

Ben shut his eyes as they filled with tears. When he opened them again, Anakin had vanished. The roar of an engine drew Ben’s attention. He hurried outside as the Millennium Falcon flew past. It landed and Rey came down the gangway, heading toward the homestead.

“I knew you’d come,” he called to her.

“Ben!” Throwing down her staff she sprinted toward him and threw herself into his arms. “Where did you come from? I didn’t see any sort of craft.”

“I walked.”

Rey slapped him. “Through the desert? You could have died!”

Ben pulled her into a kiss. It was the first time they had been on the same planet since Exegol, the first time he had held her without the buffer of their Force bond. It was almost impossible to believe that she was really here. The kiss ended and she sank into his arms. 

“Where have you been? Finn said he dropped you in Mos Eisley. I was worried some bounty hunter had gotten to you first.”

“For the last few days I’ve been at an old hut not far away. Tatooine is a great place to hide, but I thought it would be best to get out of the city.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were alright? I was worried.”

“There were some things I needed to think over,” Ben said. 

“I wanted to reach out to you,” she said, ”I had hoped you would find me when you were ready to put your past behind you.”

Ben stepped away, looking at the abandoned homestead. “I want to, but I’m not sure I can.”

Rey took a rolled cloth out of her bag and laid it on the ground. She unwrapped it to reveal Leia's saber. She reached out with the Force and took Luke’s saber from his belt. She placed it beside Leia’s and carefully wrapped them back up. 

“This is the past,” she said. “We can’t cling to it if we hope to build the future.”

The ground started to rumble and the sabers sank into the sand. Rey stood up and held out her hand. 

“Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you were meant to be.”

Ben looked at her longingly. He thought back on Anakin’s words. He wanted to take her hand but she deserved so much more. 

“I have nothing to offer you.”

“You would have taken me when I was no one because you saw what we could be together.” Rey stretched her hand out a bit more. “I’m ready to put the past behind us if you are.”

Ben looked at the garage. Anakin had returned. He smiled, giving Ben only a simple nod. Ben turned back to Rey, grasping her hand firmly. 

“I am, if it’s with you.”

As they walked back to the ship, a thought occurred to Ben.

“There is one thing I can offer you.”

“What?”

“A name,” Ben said. “If you want it.”

Rey gave him a curious look. “What do you mean?”

“The Skywalker legacy is a heavy burden to carry alone.”

Rey stopped and turned to him. “Ben, you’re not alone anymore.” She kissed him. “And you will not be the last Skywalker.”

“I love you,” Ben said. “And I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you.”

Rey placed a trembling hand on his hip. “You can show me tonight.”

Ben gulped. “Are you sure?”

She blushed, pressing her body against his. “I am if it’s with you.”


	8. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's journey comes to an end when he is reunited with Rey.

**Home**

Ben shifted in the cramped bed of the Millennium Falcon. Rey lay beside him still fast asleep. He stroked her hair. She felt relaxed and content for the first time since Exegol. 

He gently kissed her forehead and carefully slid out from under the blanket, tucking it snugly around her. He put on his pants and shirt and quietly slipped out of the quarters. He had barely taken the time to notice the ship before he and Rey had retreated to the bunk. Now a flood of memories came rushing back. 

He looked around the main lounge where he had spent so many happy moments with his parents. Now they were both gone. It had all slipped away so quickly. Rey was his family now and he had a chance to build a new life, but that didn’t stop the deep pang of regret. 

“Finally back home,” a voice said. 

Ben looked to see his mother sitting at the holochess table.

“I miss you,” he said.

“I’m right here.” Leia patted the seat beside her. 

Ben sat down. There was so much to say but he couldn’t find the words.

“Mom, I’m so sorry,” he managed finally.

Leia touched his cheek. “We don’t need to dwell on the past. It’s time for you to focus on the future. You know, when I met her I had this feeling like you were there. It makes sense now.”

“I’ve been trying to figure out what to do now. I’m not sure I’ll ever live up to your legacy.”

“Then create your own,” Leia said. “You are your own person, Ben. I want you to live a life that makes  _ you _ happy. ” Leia glanced toward the crew quarters. “I wouldn’t mind a grandchild or two, but that’s for you to decide.”

Ben blushed at the memory of what he and Rey had done. Leia chuckled. She put a hand on Ben’s knee.

“I know you love her, and she loves you, but that's not enough by itself. You’ll fight, and you’ll drive each other crazy, but at some point you have to let go of your pride and remember why you love her.” She took his hand, squeezing tightly. “Your father and I didn’t set the best example on that.”

“You did your best,” Ben assured her. “Our family wasn’t exactly normal, whatever that means.”

Leia smiled. “No, I guess not.” She reached out and pulled him into a hug. It was strange, warm and firm, yet somehow delicate, like glass. 

“Ben, my sweet boy. I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

She released him and stood. With a final smile, she leaned in to kiss him on the forehead and vanished. Ben leaned back against the seat. He noticed Rey standing in the hall.

“I didn’t want to disturb you,” she said.

“Your presence is never a disturbance,” Ben said.

Rey poured two cups of something hot and fragrant from a carafe in the galley. She handed him one and joined him at the table. 

“Sometimes late at night, she would tell me stories about you as a child.”

Ben laughed. “She didn’t show you pictures of me when we visited Kashyyk did she?”

“No,” Rey said. “But now I’m curious.”

Ben kissed her. “I’m sure R2 has them somewhere.” He took a sip of his drink. It was a spiced tea from Naboo. It felt oddly normal sitting here with Rey just enjoying a drink. It was pleasant but it was difficult to trust that. “What are we going to do now?”

“We could go back to bed,” she suggested.

“You know what I mean,” he said. “I’m the most wanted man in the galaxy.”

“Then we’ll run away and hide,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder. “We’ll take the Falcon and find some remote corner of the galaxy where no one will ever look for us.”

Ben put an arm around her shoulder. “You can’t do that, and neither can I. I’m done running, whatever happens.”

“Good,” Rey said. “Because I convinced the Queen of Naboo to offer you asylum.”

“What?” Ben asked in surprise.

“No one in the Galaxy is quite sure what’s going to happen now or who even has the authority to pass sentence on someone, but I convinced the leaders of Naboo that you should be placed in the custody of the Jedi Order.”

Ben laughed. “You mean you.”

Rey smirked. “As long as you’re with me, they promised you their protection. They agree that punishing you wouldn’t fix anything, and if you’re determined to atone for your actions then you have more to offer to the galaxy as a free man.”

“I guess you’re stuck with me then,” Ben teased.

Rey stroked his arm. “I need you as much as you need me. Somehow I have to rebuild the Jedi Order and I need your help.”

Ben thought back to the Jedi temple. “The Galaxy needs a new Jedi Order, but the Galaxy has changed. The Jedi need to change with it.” 

“We’ll have to,” Rey agreed. “I don’t think that Jedi in the Old Republic were allowed to do what we just did.” 

Ben brushed a hair out of her face. “Then we’ll have to do things our own way.” 

Rey curled up against him. “We can spend a few more days here, but then I need to rendezvous with the Resistance. There’s a First Order fleet near Malastare.”

“I’ll be by your side.”

He pulled Rey into a deep kiss. Together they would forge their own path in the galaxy, unencumbered by the past. He had come home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm working on a short epilogue, but the story is almost done. Please let met know what you think!


	9. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One year later, Ben has settled into his new life and begins to look toward the future

**Naboo**

Ben sat in the meadow with the sun warming his face. He listened to the hum of the insects and the chirping birds as the warm breeze tousled his hair. In front of him sat Luke and Leia. Leia was focused and floating a few feet off the ground, but Luke was struggling, his thoughts a chaotic jumble.

Ben reached out and nudged him out of his distracted meditation. The boy looked at him, frustrated. Ben just smiled. 

“Go run the training course and clear your head,” he said gently. “When you get back we can talk about whatever’s on your mind.”

Luke hurried off and Ben returned to his meditation. He had been reunited with Rey for almost a year now and this was the first time they had been apart. He had spent the year fighting at her side and helping her train Luke and Leia. She was in the Mid Rim with Finn and Dameron on a diplomatic mission. She had asked him to stay behind with Luke and Leia. After a year together, being left behind had hurt, but a conversation with his mother had provided some clarity. 

They trusted him now.

He realized that for a year all eyes had been on him, watching for any sign of betrayal. He understood their suspicion, but it was encouraging to finally make some progress. They trusted him enough to leave him alone with two young Jedi. The realization gave him a deep sense of peace. The turmoil and confusion that had plagued him was starting to clear and he could see the way forward.

He felt Luke return. Leia opened her eyes and lay back in the grass as he joined them. 

“Did that help clear your mind?”

“Not really,” Luke said. “I was thinking about what Master Rey was telling us about the dark side of the Force.”

Ben felt a ripple of anxiety from Luke. He sensed that the question had been on the boy’s mind for a while. He was nervous about discussing his thoughts with Ben, but the answer Rey had given him had not satisfied his curiosity.

“I understand why she said that the dark side is destructive, but she also keeps talking about balance and harmony. Too much of anything is bad. Too much sun or too much rain and this meadow dies.”

Ben looked out at the meadow, mulling over Luke’s question. It was a good question with no easy answer. He knew the dangers of the dark side better than anyone, but he had pondered the same thing. Master Jinn had talked about the need for the Jedi to change. It went against everything he had learned to think that the dark and the light could coexist, but it was something he had to consider.

“Sometimes the answer to a question needs to come from working through it.”

“You don’t know either, do you?” Leia asked.

Ben smiled. “Not yet,” he admitted. “But difficult questions are better asked on a full stomach. Let’s call it a day and get something to eat.”

As they made their way back to the base a ship roared overhead. Rey was waiting for him when they returned. Luke and Leia ran off to join their friends in the mess hall. Ben stood there for a moment looking at her. There was something different that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but she seemed to glow.

“Are you just going to stand there?” she asked.

“I like the view,” Ben teased.

Rey laughed and took his hand, pulling him into a deep kiss. “I missed you,” she whispered.

“I missed you too, but we all had a productive time.”

“Come on, I had dinner sent up to our quarters.” 

Ben put an arm around her waist as they headed up to their quarters. Being at her side, he felt whole. Their bond could reach across the stars, but it was always strongest when they were together. He probed their bond, trying to figure out what was different. There was something that hadn’t been there when she had left. It was faint but it almost felt as though another presence had joined them.

Ben halted as it dawned on him. “You’re pregnant.”

Rey gaped for a moment. “I was going to tell you after dinner. I should have known you’d feel it too.” She put a hand on her stomach. “It was a few days after I left, but I knew the moment it happened.” She looked at him, beaming. “Ben, we’re going to have a child.”

Ben kissed her, unable to put his happiness into words.

“Is it normal to be scared?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Ben said. “I’m a little scared too, but I’m excited.”

Rey suddenly gripped his hand. “We stay together,” she said. “No matter what, promise me we won’t let anything separate us.”

Ben cupped her face in his hands and kissed her softly on the forehead. 

“I can’t promise the galaxy won’t pull us in different directions, but I will always find you. The Force brought us together and we have to trust that it will bring us where we are needed.” 

Rey smiled. “Come on, dinner is getting cold.”

* * *

Ben lay in bed with his cheek on Rey’s belly. The thought that they had created a new life, a growing presence that he could already sense in the Force, still amazed him. All his life, he had been in search of this sense of unity and belonging. He had tried to find it through destruction and power, but it had eluded him. Only when he had given in to his true nature and the simple pleasure of moments like this had he found what he needed.

“What are we going to tell them about us?” Rey asked, stroking his hair.

“The truth,” Ben answered. “That’s what I wish my parents had done from the beginning. The galaxy is a complicated place. There’s darkness and light and sometimes you find them in the same place. If you try to deny one side then you won’t be prepared to fight it. You have to understand both sides to see the truth of things.”

Rey wound her finger around one of Ben’s curls. “You do realize this child is going to be more powerful than either of us.”

“It’s ok,” Ben said, hugging her tightly. “There’s two of us.”

* * *

The sun was just starting to peak over the horizon when Ben and Rey entered the mausoleum on the outskirts of Theed. The light shone through the stain glass window, casting an image of Padme Amidala on the sarcophagus.

“My mother brought me here a few times as a child but I haven’t been here since we arrived. I think I was too ashamed to face her.” He put a hand on the sarcophagus, tracing the chiseled motif. “She would have been disappointed in me, I think.”

“But I think she’d be happy if she could see us,” Rey said. She took his hand and placed her other hand on her swelling stomach.

“I hope so,” Ben said. “We’ll just have to do the best we can.”

He reached in his pocket and took out the blue kyber crystal from Anakin’s lightsaber. With the Force, he lifted the heavy lid of Padme’s sarcophagus and dropped the crystal inside. He set the lid down gently and put his hand on the carving.

“May the Force be with you.”

Rey took his hand and led him out of the mausoleum to watch the sunrise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! I hope you've enjoyed the story. Please comment and let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is my first fic with these two. I'd love to hear your thoughts, so drop a comment!


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